Everything Happens Eventually

“but what if you abort the baby who’ll cure cancer?!” sir the baby who will cure cancer is an organic chemistry major who works at a Home Depot because you use AI to go through your resumes

"I am, somehow, less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein’s brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and died in cotton fields and sweatshops." - Stephen Jay Gould, The Panda's Thumb: More Reflections in Natural History

They never ask "but what if you abort the baby who'll slaughter my entire family?!" do they

when you see your little kitty walking toward you at a leisurely pace and say "hi baby!" bc you're excited to see her and she starts trotting a little bit faster 'cause she's excited to see you too. that's what life is all about i think

"hear me out" and it's a picture of the most fuckable building you've ever seen. c'mon now.

#GREAT

99% of leavers look back before it's gone forever

thanks for not unfollowing me during my depressive episode u a real one

im your lame ass mutual and you love me

Wake up, babe, a new example of why the Oxford comma is a really good idea just dropped...

They made divorce so expensive because they knew ppl would do it for kink reasons

Me & my man getting our bi-yearly divorce so we can yell accusations at each other & then have a hot passionate extramarital affair for about 3 days before we re-marry

May I introduce you to my 23rd husband? (it's been the same guy 23 times)