Welcome to My Progress Journal

Which is funny to me because i dont hate uni, i struggle with uni. Because im mentally ill. And i struggle with life in general, and with focus, and with being even remotely happy enough to work.

But i LOVE academia. I love learning. And it sucks that it is so hard for me because it is what i want to do.

Prioritize what has a deadline. And for everything else? Chip away when energy or motivation allow.

Non-urgent things don’t magically become urgent just because there’s a lot of them.

I honestly dont know how to take care of myself anymore i feel like i need to deprive myself of things i love in order to really really settle the inflammation in this body. Like metaphorically this is happening my appetite is gone but i am not really losing weight as if to say yeah dont do intake of anything and you wont lose shit including your health.

Honestly, i dont know how others do it with autoimmunity catching up with their goals and still being ambitious and not giving up …. I am not that and it makes me sad that i am not.

My therapist gave an example of this professor she had who tried to get her phd 3 times and never gave up trying but took breaks and would leave the university whenever she had a health scare and that she was genuinely good with what she taught. She gave a lot of examples from her life with chronic health condition even had a cancer scare but her ambition stayed put.

I dont know how to be like that, i used to be an avid traveller before i got diagnosed i have visited more of Europe and little bit of middle east out of curiosity and i loved the country Greece. But now its been years since i last went outside my country because even when i do travel within my country i fall sick every time. I haven’t been on a single trip with my friends because if i fall sick it’ll be too much burden on them.

Constant stimulation (phone, noise, multitasking) = Keeps your body in a low grade stress state

Doomscrolling & overconsuming information= Trains your brain to expect chaos and urgency

Irregular sleep schedule= Disrupts your circadian rhythm and hormone balance

Caffeine on an empty stomach= Spikes cortisol and increases anxiety

Suppressing emotions= Stores stress in the body instead of releasing it

Overcommitting & people pleasing= Signals to your body that you’re never safe to rest

Lack of sunlight & nature= Dysregulates your internal clock and mood

High intensity workouts every day= Keeps your nervous system in fight or flight

Negative self talk= Your brain doesn’t know the difference between thought and reality

Eating in a rush or stressed= Impacts digestion and signals danger to the body

Not taking breaks / constant productivity= Prevents your system from ever down regulating