Profiling and Philosophy Department

And to finish expressions as “Believe me” and “trust me” repeatedly rescued even former US president GWB.

Other day I went to Starbucks, I was siting, filling some forms that I need to fill. But my attention was capturing things around me, as usually happens. The couple next to me was speaking, the music on my earphones doesn't allowed me to hear them. But they was arguing about something. The way the man held woman's hand showed how aggressive and possessive he was. The woman faked a smile. Then they stop arguing and was just chatting, at some point she for some seconds shook her head in a "no" when pronounced "yes" (Let's be honest, "yes" is the easiest thing to read from lips movement) and her arm under the table showed a "stop" sign unconsciously. In the cue a woman was speaking to a man and the body language showed that they slept together and she want again, but the way he compressed the lips showed that he doesn't want to. I sometimes can see when people lie, when fake smiles, when he said that he loved me but his body language show that he never did, I see how people lie to each other and sometimes it make me so frustrated... The hope in the society and people sometimes go so down. But then I see honest smiles, how surprised someone is, how the love can be real and how proud someone was when listen to me. And I understand that it is a gift, which sometimes is very heave to carry but at the same time, it can make really happy.

Usually here I write about: -> Psychology related topics -> Personal thoughts about whatever come to my mind. What if tonight, I talk about CPS? Maybe someone will read this post, somehow and will not feel alone. Maybe it will catch someone who need to read this. What is CPS? CPS is Chronic Pain Syndrome, (according to books,doctors and google) which is a challenge for health-care members, according to unclear etiology and poor response to therapy. CPS is a constellation of syndromes that usually do not respond to the medical model of care. CPS can affect patients in various ways. Major effects in the patient's life are depressed mood, poor-quality or nonrestorative sleep, fatigue, reduced activity and libido, excessive use of drugs and alcohol, dependent behavior, and disability out of proportion with impairment. Now a bit of personal and less professional experience. Of course CPS differ from person to person, how does it feels to me? It feels like the pain never stop and it is so strong that seems to affect all body and it have strong impact on the mood, because to be honest is hard to keep myself happy when this pain never ends. It feels like having knives in the body and pretending that nothing happens and trying to smile. It is a very hard thing to deal with. But if you are dealing with it, remember that you're not alone. This pain remind me that I'm alive, I feel this pain since I was a kid, my body is alive, I'm beating it.

I was sitting, looking at the window and a thought came to my mind. We say "I didn't took the phone because I was busy " when in reality, we don't want to admit that the voice on the other side of the line don't make us happy anymore. We say "I don't need anything from you anymore" when we cannot get what we wanted. We say "It's cold here" when we need a touch of someone. We say "I don't have anything to live for" when we want someone to prove us the opposite. We say "Thank you for existing" when we are afraid to say "I love you". We say "You are a great friend" but we forget to add "But you won't be anything more than that". We say "No one need me" when who don't need us is just one person. We say "I will be fine" when we don't want to ask for help. We say "It is not important anymore" when the only solution is to admit it. We say "I believe in you" when we are afraid to became just a doll. We say "Forever" when we don't want to look at the clock. We say so many things, when we have just three unsaid words, we compress our lips and look at the floor in silence. We laugh of death and buy kg of drugs in pharmacy. We say that the life is beautiful and go to the shop to buy another bottle of vodka. We say that we don't care about what others think, but always ask "How do I look?" We love the loneliness and hug strongly the phone. How strange we are...