Flirting With Disaster

honestly i dont even play an active role in my life shit just happens and im like oh is this what we’re doing now ok

academia is fake you can only trust your fists

And y'all said she was copying Beyoncé 🙄😴

Because they ganged up on the crocodile hunter and shanked him in cold blood.

You're telling me, a chicken fried this rice

This is amazing

The only one that isn’t blocked by Tumblr is the “What in the goddamn” pic and for some reason I love it

MOTHERFUCKERS COULDN’T GET ON WONDER WOMEN’S LEVEL 

Philosophy: Solved

I’ve never laughed so hard 

add “I live inside my own heart, Matt Damon” to the things I will now commonly say that nobody will understand

“Pedestrian small talk” ha i love it 😂

business majors will do coke off your ass on saturday night and then pretend they don’t know you in your econ lecture on monday morning

fuck with a psych major then

psych majors will do lsd with you and tell you that they’ve never felt as connected to anyone as they do to you in that moment and then as soon as their trip ends they will spend the rest of your relationship disappointed because they know they’ll never feel as strongly about you sober as they did while on acid and when you take notice of that and comment that they seem to be growing distant they will psychoanalyze you and claim that you just think that because you have abandonment issues stemming from early childhood trauma