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Rowan Chow art is by @lowokiii

you know he feels safe in his environment because he is lying on his back, which puts him in a vulnerable position against possible attackers

See, I have VERY mixed feelings on this episode.

Starting off with the positives:

Adam was an absolute delight as always. He is in fact so quirky and cannot be taken anywhere. Lovely

I LOVED FINALLY HEARING MORE DETAILS ON SYDNEYS DEATH even if it didn’t give us much on how the resurrection actually worked so much as Sydney dying…

And I LOVE LOVE LOVED THE AGENTS NOTES. THEY GOT HIM. THEY GOT THE EVIDENCE. My beloved agents finally get a win

And now the not so positives…:

Adam just leaving??? I get that’s kinda his thing, he’ll do whatever if you LET him, and by Sydney telling him to go he finally backs off, but that can’t be how his whole arc ends… I really really hope he’s in the next episode. I still have hope he will be bc of his parade and all, but agent7 calling Adam leaving a “banishment” worries me.

This episode did feel a bit anticlimactic for Sydney’s arc. He’s been spiralling this whole season, getting worse and worse, and it comes to the end and he kinda just… changes his mind? Like, I understand why he changed his mind, hearing what happened when he died and having more understanding for Jedidiah’s perspective made him realize he’s been lashing out at someone who ultimately cares about him, but this sudden change makes it feels like Sydneys self destructing was kinda pointless and sorta devalues his fight for agency.

AND WHAT PISSED ME OFF MOST, WHAT ABSOLUTELY GRINDED MY GEARS. JEDIDIAH A A MARTIN YOU BITCHASS MOTHERFUCKER. Now, see. I love Jedidiah. He is such a desperate and doomed and relatable character. But it gets to a POINT.

In this episode, Sydney realized that his actions this season have been harming Jedidiah so he tries to make it better. He kicks Adam out, he apologizes, he sympathizes. JEDIDIAH on the other hand, did not take accountability for any of his actions against Sydney. IN FACT HE PUSHES THE BLAME BACK ONTO SYDNEY BY SAYING THINGS LIKE “are you happy now? You got everything you wanted?!?” And “what do you just get off to seeing me suffer?!” He’s deflecting by making Sydney out to be a bad guy, then only ever addresses his own harmful actions by self deprecating. Yes, it was very very awful of Sydney to forced Jedidiah to relive such a traumatic event, but this event was something so heavily related to Sydney, something that continued to dictate his whole life, and something he needed to know for closure and for clarity on his current situation.

Another thing. By Jedidiah not willingly telling Sydney the story of how he died he shows that: 1, he doesn’t understand the importance of Sydney getting to know that story, and 2, his mindset still hadn’t changed since season one. Sydney is an adult capable of making his own decisions, but to make good decisions he needs the full picture. Yes Sydney is disabled, yes Sydney has made bad decisions in his life, but he should still have the agency to decide things for himself. By not knowing how he ended up stuck at the camp, not knowing how he died and not knowing how Jedidiah brought him back he is unable to fully assess his current situation.

Jedidiah simultaneously blames Sydney for every bad choice he makes and believes Sydney is incapable of making decisions at all. It’s a flawed way of thinking that only results in Sydney suffering at every turn. When Sydney becomes self destructive Jedidiah becomes more overbearing and says he’s “afraid of him,” but when Sydney wants to understand more so he can make better choices he is denied that knowledge and infantilized. There’s only so much someone can do in a situation like that.

At some point, Jedidiah says “your disabilities your needs, I literally have to make those choices for you because you can’t,” but a big reason that Sydney hasn’t been able to make those choices is his lack of knowledge, and it’s not that he wouldn’t be able to understand, it’s that Jedidiah simply won’t let him know.

This is how Jedidiah has been acting SINCE season 1, so, I kinda didn’t really like having to witness him double down on this behaviour in the second last episode of season 2. It would’ve been such an impactful moment if Jedidiah realized how his actions were hurting Sydney, decided to come forth and tell him the story himself, THEN Sydney realizes he’s been hurting many people this season with his self destruction. That whole conversation at the end of the episode could still have had Jedidiah crying and Sydney apologizing and their (sorta) reconciling if Jedidiah told the story willingly himself, and it would’ve been more impactful.

Also, I feel like this episode has kinda made Adam’s goals seem very confusing??? I mean, if his goal was to get Sydney to kill himself (which of course I’m very glad he failed) he could have stringed on Sydney’s lack of knowledge longer. The root of Sydney’s problems this season has been feeling like he’s stuck in the dark without the knowledge to get out, so if Adam wanted Sydney to keep spiralling it would’ve been more effective for him to continue showing Sydney just how much Jedidiah refuses to tell him the truth, so why did he tell Sydney the story???

Actually, it could have been that he believed by telling Sydney the truth himself he would fully win Sydney over and make him completely lose all trust in Jedidiah, and that plan just happened to backfire on him. Answered my own question !!!

But. I will give credit where credit is due. Hearing the story of how Sydney died puts a lot more perspective onto Jedidiah’s character. Many of his actions seem to be motivated by guilt and a desperation to undo his mistakes. It’s a very compelling and (sadly) relatable mindset to have.

And ending one a good note for this rant (which has turned out to be much longer than I thought):

The last person Jon talks to before Becoming being Tim, right before his death. The explosion specifically killing the both of them, while Daisy and Basira are untouched by it for their own reasons. Them both knowing they were going to die. Jon not knowing he would be the only one coming back.