Alien Covenant (behind the scenes)


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we're not kids anymore.
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Alien Covenant (behind the scenes)

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once I snorted a fat line of nuance and everything started depending. watch out
someone tell OP i did it, i spent about 3 hours on it
truly

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EMBRACE PROFOUND PLATONIC DEVOTION
Common tree shrew
what happened to your pronouns
lost custody
"i feel besquintled", said no one ever. because that's not a word.
okay nevermind it IS a word now and this is exactly what it means.
EVERYONE SHUT UP AND LOOK AT THIS NEW AND BETTER WORD
as much as i poke fun at “tumblr prose,” i will acknowledge that sometimes when you’re writing and you’re really in the groove, you’re really feeling yourself, you’re on your capital-a Author shit, and you write a line that makes you go, “oh yeah, this is the Good Shit. this is so Subtle and Says So Much. this is Characterization. this is Themes and Motifs. you could write a whole essay about this one line. the master of the craft strikes again!” and then a month or whatever later when you’re editing you read over it again with post-write clarity and you realize you wrote some real “people die when they’re killed” bullshit
Can verify this is how writing a novel is too.

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i wish people would stop romanticizing not eating breakfast and not getting enough sleep and being dependent on coffee to function and always being in a bad mood and treating yourself poorly because that behavior is very unhealthy for you
He’s right.
busy month
incredible picture of my neighbours puppies
I heard they’re inventing pussy 2, thanks to raving reviews from the first

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why was messi lowkey serving saddam hussein hiding spot
One thing I really like about Beverly Engel's book It Wasn't Your Fault, which is about PTSD-induced toxic shame, is that quite a bit of it deals with people who haven't broken The Cycle of Abuse (TM) and have gone on to hurt others. That's a really underserved and vulnerable patient population, and statistically, it's also MASSIVE. I don't think I've read a single other self-help type book on PTSD and self-loathing that confronts the possibility that you're exactly as bad as you think you are.
I felt better that it so much as mentioned that children can react to abuse with ungovernable rage. Everybody likes the image of PTSD patients as internalizing everything and becoming doormats, which does happen, and often, but it's not the only narrative. Personally I've always hated my abusers and have always wanted everyone who so much as breathed wrong in my direction from ages 0 to 18 to burn eternally in hell. I *never* thought any of it was my fault and ever since I was a toddler I was willing to make it everybody else's problem, and it's really relieving to read a clinical perspective that acknowledges that abuse victims can act that way too.
It's wild to me that its such a neglected subset of abuse victims. Its really common. When I still lived with my parents and was still subjected to my father every fucking day I would lash out terribly at my mother, to the point when i went to visit them for years afterwards she was afraid I would lash out again. We've worked it out, I'm a much better person when I'm not regularly subjected to mental and emotional abuse, but like, its just so common.
I think it must be, at least partially, because, people hate the imperfect victim. Its easy for so many people to sympathize with someone who never lashed out. Less so for people to sympathize with people who are angry and lash out. Even though its a perfectly sensible reaction to being hurt over and over. I'm sure most people would like to think they would simply never.
I don't think this is the whole reason, but, I think it plays into it.
Similarly, there’s a narrative of, you cannot experience grief over having fucked up. That if you are hurting because you caused harm, because you were the cause of harm, that you’re not allowed to grieve, because you “earned your sorrow. You deserve to bottle it up and to hurt for the bad things you have done,”
Which is punitive logic. It’s copthink. Which is bad.
important
In fact, you can actually give yourself trauma over fucking up too badly and doing, witnessing, or failing to prevent something evil that goes against your morals; for instance, if you steal your mother's life savings due to drug addiction, kill a civilian during a military operation (please do not join the military), or became abusive because you didn't have the tools and skills yet to handle BPD. In the field of psychology this is called "moral injury" or "perpetrator trauma."
All victims are imperfect.
Every single one of them. There’s always something they did Wrong. There’s always a reason to doubt. There’s always something else they could have, should have done. When my clients admit things and their bodies and voices are full of shame, I tell them this. And then I explain their behavior back to them with emotion words instead of fault words.
Instead of doubting yourself, punishing yourself, relieve yourself of the burden of perfection. Ironically, this also makes it much easier to take responsibility for your role in things that go bad later on; if you aren’t perfect, failure is not a threat to your identity but just a process of growing and learning.
PTSD puts your body permanently in survival mode. One of those modes is FIGHT. It leads to violence all the time. Unbelievable numbers of my clients who have violent charges have some level of PTSD. They have to grapple with this part of themselves. I’m actually pretty used to talking people through it, I realize as I write this.
Doing harm does not make you an irredeemable villain, but it does place a burden on you to find out why and get yourself on a road to healing so you can stop it from happening more. The great news is you can start lifting that burden instead of the shame and anger any time — it is never too late.