Princess Treacle Fanfiction

Penelope : Hey, about that love letter you sent me- Luke: *blushes* What are your thoughts? Penelope : The fourth sentence- Luke: Yeah, that’s where I got really emotional and I- Penelope : It’s “you’re” not “your”.

Penelope : Relationships should be 50/50. Luke cooks us dinner while I sit on the kitchen counter looking pretty.

Penelope, standing with their back turned: I’ve been expecting you, Luke. Luke: How did you do that without turning around? Penelope: ... To be perfectly honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you.

Penelope : Luke and I are no longer dating. Luke: Penelope , that’s a horrible way of telling people we’re married.

Luke: What is your biggest weakness? Penelope: I can be uncooperative. Luke: Okay, can you give me an example? Penelope: No.

Luke: *Stubs their toe* FUCK! Penelope: Mind your language! Luke: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”??? Penelope: Luke: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.

Luke: I made tea. Penelope: I don’t want tea. Luke: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea. Penelope: Then why are you telling me? Luke: It is a conversation starter. Penelope: That’s a lousy conversation starter. Luke: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.

Penelope: I prevented a murder today. Luke: Really? How’d you do that? Penelope: Self-control.

Penelope: That was so hot, Luke. Luke: I literally called the person who just flirted with you a degenerate dog and told them I hope they get dragged through the streets. Penelope: I'm so in love with you.

Penelope : When I was young, I left a trail of broken hearts like a rockstar. I'm not proud of it. Luke: You're kind of proud of it. You work it into a lot of conversations.

Luke: Hey, random question, what are your favorite flowers? Penelope : Peonies, why? Luke: Penelope : Were you going to get me flowers? Luke: Penelope : Luke:...maybe

Luke: I have feelings for you. Penelope: Why? What's wrong with you? Are you sure you're okay?

Penelope : You look good in that hoodie. Luke: You know where else I'd look good? Penelope , zero hesitation: My bed. Luke, at the same time: By your side- wait, what?