Mort @mortifyingordealof - Tumblr Blog

paprikapony-deactivated20210526

#yeah put this one on my tombstone i guess

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orteil42

controversial stance but i do wish i could live forever. i certainly live like i'm going to live forever. i take my time. realistically however my lifespan is dreadfully limited and there are things i've "been meaning to do" that i will never get around to. the Emoji Movie came out almost 10 years ago. in all that time on any random day i could've decided to sit down and watch it, and i did not. how many more decades will slip by like this? conceivably, it could be all the decades i have left. watching the Emoji Movie would not be, after all, a crucial use of my time. much better things to do. i could easily postpone it over and over and over until my final breath where it may not even register to me that i never did watch the Emoji Movie. no great loss, certainly; and yet i find myself intrigued by Patrick Stewart's involvement

xalatath

SMOKED SALMON IS THE ONLY THING THAT NUMBS THE PAIN

im-mender

post: I noticed that in act 1 there's a loaded gun mounted on the wall there. I bet by the end of act 2 it will have been fired

all the replies: you're a fucking idiot

*after act 2*

all the replies: how the fuck did you know that

im-mender

okay but we can't know for sure that the loud noise and bright flash offstage—which occurred after the character who was holding the gun exited the stage with it—was a gunshot, because we didn't get to directly see it

#im so sorry for all the snarky things i said about english class when i was in high school #i didnt understand how stupid people could be

c86

Taken from Loving: A Photographic History of Men in Love 1850s–1950s

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pseudomantis

is-the-owl-video-cute-deactivat

a squirrel or perhaps a cardinal posted this

phaeton-flier

How about you mind your own damn business

#me as fuck #my girl makes fun of me for eating my birdfood

sixty-silver-wishes

sorry america but you’ve been really mean. and I don’t want to go to your birthday party in two days

setheverman

what’s the mood for july?

why can rockstar games institutionalise you for life like nikita kruschev for being autistic

transhuman-priestess

He didn't steal 10 million dollars. They made that number up as a loss, they never fucking had it. Rockstar has spent more than a billion fucking dollars on GTA VI and will likely make billions more when it gets released.

Uber is a fucking shell game of a company designed to leech investor capital and output bootleg cabs.

Nvidia posted a profit in 2023 of $4.37 billion. This is like someone stealing less than a penny from me.

And they lock this kid in a prison hospital for LIFE?

Capitalism is disgusting.

fuckblast

Nobody should buy GTA til they free Arion Kurtaj

transhuman-priestess

What with GTA VI going up for pre-order i'd just like to remind everyone that rockstar conspired with the UK government to lock an 18-year-old away for life for hacking them.

girlnumbers

float like a butterfly (nervously forgets end of quote) green like a pea

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blackshvck

the idea that every summer will be as hot if not hotter than this for the rest of my life is unbearable i need to (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) murder an oil executive

doberbutts

I have a neighbor in her late 80s who I have lived next to for the past 4 years since I bought this house, that I have to re-introduce myself to every time she spots me outside. She remembers that I am her neighbor but cannot remember my name (unless she's talking to my partner, in which case she does remember my name but not his).

She has a truly ancient tiny dog whose pastimes include shitting on my driveway and picking fence fights with Fenris. Occasionally she will ask me to do his nails and he's actually wonderful for them so it takes like 3 minutes tops. She also will usually hand me whatever bill she has in her wallet for it- sometimes it's a 1, once it was a 50, usually it's like 5 bucks.

Now I have tried refusing her money and even gave the 50 back and wouldn't accept it. I then came home to the $50 bill taped to my back door the next day after work. So, you know, I'm kind of stuck accepting whatever she tries to give me because she WILL tape the money to my house somewhere otherwise.

(Once she gave one of her granddaughters a gift that required batteries and was distraught that it didn't come with any. Knocked on my door to ask if I had any. I haven't used my spare batteries in ages so I just gave her a whole pack. Refused to let her pay for them. Three days later a pack of batteries plus ten bucks was taped to my door. So this is not an uncommon occurance.)

Anyway this time she didn't have any money to pay because we're all fucking broke as shit on this block and she was really upset because his nails were starting to curl and once again I did them in like 3 minutes and when she apologized for not being able to pay me I just waved her off and told her not to worry about it.

I came home on Monday to my backyard being totally cleared of winter debris and the growing collection of winter dog shit as well as my fence repaired in two of the places that broke when the tree fell on it. I texted her adult son whose number I have and he confirmed he did it because he was happy that I helped his mom out with her dog. I tried to explain that it really does not take a lot to do the dog's nails but he similarly refused to hear it and said he'd be back in a few days to finish fixing the fence.

Idk why I thought he would be different from his mother. But I guess I get free fence repairs for the price of doing an old lady's dog's nails once every couple weeks to months.

anarchistmemedistro

angstics

obviously clear why "tomorrow belongs to me" and "if you could see her through my eyes" are the Nazi Songs of cabaret that make everyone uncomfortable, butttt the #fanfavorites "willkommen" & "cabaret" that have been divorced from context to be big Theatre Rocks numbers are crucially also nazi songs. its the whole point of the musical, how it can be embedded into anything, anywhere, it can be your entertainment and what you love. leave your troubles outside, whats good permitting some prophet of doom to wipe every smile awayyy. its so great it makes me so uncomfortable to sing these songs and love it i love CABARET

knucklecurve

filthy, filthy read

phantomrose96

job interviewer: would you be willing to destroy and betray yourself for nothing?

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avidcollectorofdust

Really glad predictive text exists. Should i bring my own parking lot

rneliflua

"shipping and blorbofication are not inherently at odds with understanding a story's deep themes" and "some people can't grasp the themes of a story because they never learned how to engage with stories outside of the lens of shipping and blorbofication" are two statements that can coexist

rneliflua

blorbofication to me is when you love a character in such a laser focus way that you somewhat detach them from the narrative from which they are inserted and treat them in a way roughly similar to how you'd treat an oc for which you still have no story and just like to put them in situations just for fun. which there's nothing wrong with btw, it's just that it can easily lead to people forgetting the character engine in a narrative and not just a barbie doll

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