blue-green, colors flashing

i think we need to never stop talking about how crazy insane “but i am leaving for india” / “and it is not far enough” was like HELLOOOOOO

it's so insane to me that if the narrative hadn't been pushed from day one it would have been so obvious that they were PLAYING. like they were playing in the simplest sense of the word. like kids. and that's why I can't even be too mad that this isn't a show for sickos where their competition is a source of immense interpersonal angst which is what I expected it to be. bc there really is something about them being so proud of each other's wins. shane expecting genuine congratulations and sexy ribbing when he gets rookie of the year, bc that's the precedent. and then when he thinks ilya's pissed about the award he's like god I can't believe you care this much about a stupid award. and ilya's instantly like well obviously it isn't about the stupid award if I didn't have other shit going on of course I'd be ribbing you and congratulating you in increasingly inventive and flexible ways. because I love competing against you and I love how only one of us can win because it means that our ongoing silent conversation, a joke that we're both in on, is never ever over. and they spend the rest of their lives excited to get out there together. playing like kids. that line in the book where shane's like Hayden is my best friend and ilya's like I'M your best friend. and Shane's like well yes, obviously.