Post-Long Game, you know Yuna is in her Momager Bag to a truly nasty degreeβbecause sirs/maβams/gender neutral peoples, my once-in-a-lifetime hockey phenom son is married to another once-in-a-lifetime hockey phenom. Call me Thanos, because Iβm clearly collecting generational talents like Infinity Stones.
Shane and Ilya start shooting ads and promotions together based on Yunaβs carefully curated list of LGBTQ+ and POC-inclusive companies. Shane maintains the same requirements heβs had his entire careerβtasteful and nothing too corny, Mom, please.
Ilya? He wonβt agree to shit unless he has a say in the music that ends up in the final cut. Yuna doesnβt see anything wrong or weird about that, and the companies they work with seem to love Ilyaβs input. The ads are, per Shaneβs requirements, tasteful and well done.
Then the Levi ad happens.
Shaneβs unsure about it at first. He spends 90% of his time in athletic-wearβshorts, compression shirts, sweats. He owns maybe 2 pairs of jeans that he hasnβt worn in so long, heβs not sure they fit anymore (which he tells himself would be because of his intense training to build and maintain muscle, not the 5-10 pounds heβs gained since being happily married and easing up on his diet). Any reservations he has go up in smoke when Ilya murmurs a low, breathy βpleaseβ against his neck and tells him which song he wants in the ad.
You call me pretty little thing
And I love to turn him on
Boy, Iβll let you be my Levi Jeans
So you can hug that ass all day long
And please donβt get it twistedβShaneβs not exactly well-versed in BeyoncΓ© or most songs outside the chart top 50s he familiarizes himself with for the sake of small talk, but he knows this song. Ilyaβs a certified Beyhive member and has had Cowboy Carter on repeat since the album came out. This song, though?
This is the song Ilya plays when he wants to remind Shane how sexy he is. That heβs not a hockey machine or a poster boy for gay, Asian, or gay Asian athletes. That heβs a real person who is also his beloved husband and fine as fuck.
Come here, you sexy little thing
Snap a picture, bring it on
Know you wish you were my Levi Jeans
Way itβs poppinβ out your phone
I love you down to the bone
Itβs the first ad the married couple does together thatβs overtly sexual. Itβs shot from Ilyaβs point of view: watching Shane jump to get a pair of figure-hugging jeans over his ass and smile at himself in the mirror. The audience doesnβt know that smile is partly him realizing that he still fits in the same size and just fills them out a bit better. The other part? Itβs when the point of view shifts and Ilya moves into the frame to grab his ass, lifting him off the floor and carrying him off in a fit of breathless giggles.
I love you down to the bone.
Once theyβre both out of frame, the jeans get tossed in front of the mirror. The ad ends with a close-up of the label.
I love you down to the bone.