looking for something?

yok: are you just bullshitting us?

White when he finally gets the hint:

ask & you shall receive! buckle up though bc I can NEVER write short things lol. keep in mind that everything I'm saying is only coming from what I've observed on the show as I haven't read the novel it's inspired from, so I can't predict what's gonna happen & I frankly don't want to bc I like the surprises!

so, sean is frankly such a fascinating character bc he really didn't shine that much in the first episode compared to other characters (I know, I must be crazy to say that about an off jumpol character lol! I still loved him but he wasn't really the center of attention since he only makes his entrance in 4th part of the ep.) but since then it’s been absolutely beautiful to peel back every layer of his personality one by one!

so when we're introduced to sean in ep 1, we are greeted by those crazy deep eyes:

and we KNOW these are eyes that say something, we've seen them since the final trailer, hell, even p'nuchie said the most impressive thing about off's acting is his eyes. but somewhat even I, off's self-proclaimed biggest stan, didn't realize how MUCH these are not off's regular eyes until I really compared pictures of him. and for sean, the only time when he's softer is when he's around namo, in this scene for example:

does this look like the same person??? bc frankly it barely does to me. and I could talk about namo's influence on sean & how I'm excited to know more about her bc I love her but that'll be for another day :') so ANYWAYS, in ep 1 we're introduced to sean who's extremely reserved & mysterious, has this super cool aura about him, and clearly isn't the biggest fan of black. and what kills me about sean is that he (and honestly the other gang members as well but him especially) is SUCH a cliche of toxic masculinity lmao, like dude really wanna be the manliest man out there, he's so aggressive for no reason :'))) (but actually it’s not for no reason it’s just that the man has never felt safe in his life so he trusts no one, poor baby)

so yeah, in ep 1 we see the very surface of sean, which is aggressive, violent & overly manly. what I like though, is that since ep 1 (and honestly that's one of the strengths of the show as a whole to be able to have funny moments even though it deals with very serious issues), we do see a more playful (honestly childish, I could make a whole essay on that alone so I’ll keep it at that but he can be a literal baby at times lmao) side of sean when white accidentally pours the engine oil on him & he wants revenge. and another clue that jennie confirmed gun said is very important to the show is this:

this is something that captured my attention bc it's the only time sean smiled in the whole ep, and this sentence immediately felt like it referred to sean's queerness, which is why it's exciting to know it will come back in later episodes! for now I'll have to let it go bc I have so many more things to say, but when that sentence comes back I'll be waiting for a message in my askbox so I can rant about it again :') so anyways, apart from that, ep 1 tells us the base layer of sean’s personality, which is that he is overall not a very soft person, even though the playful scene & that "unique means good" scene show us that it's not all there is to it.

in ep 2, that's when sean starts getting WAY more developed, and that ep develops two sides of his personality: the first one is of course, that he saves white's ass many times, he drives him to thawi's house even though gram who's closer to black could've done it, he saves him from the fire, he checks up on him during the whole mission... he's also clearly the most perceptive about the fact that white has changed. he IS kind of a badass, love that for him. but then there's this other side, a softer, more pathetic side of him that starts to appear, mostly bc there's his first scene with namo so we can see that he can actually interact with people like a regular human being! amazing! but more importantly bc we see him cry when white says he wanna quit, which is incredibly hard hitting bc it shows how much justice & their vigilante group means to sean.

and then we have a favorite scene of mine, sean going to check on white despite saying he wouldn't do it to gumpa:

and for me that's a super important sean scene bc it should feel ooc, like why would he care about white?? why would he check his temperature when he notices he isn't okay?? why is he LITERALLY BEGGING him to come back to the garage?? like, isn't he supposed to dislike him & be this cool, detached guy... but for me this is the most sean scene at that point bc despite how uncaring & rough this guy tries to make others think he is, HE CARES SO FUCKING MUCH!!! even when he doesn't care, he fucking cares lmao. and mostly in that scene he wants black to care about the group he has created so his fight for justice can continue, bc ultimately that's literally sean's main goal in life. he wants justice & he wants revenge for his own family & all the people wronged by thawi. so ep 2 is really amazing at showing this duality in sean's personality from badass cool guy who saves people to this very sensitive guy who MIGHT care like, just a tiny bit <3 and spoiler alert, the layers only continue from there!!!

in ep 3, all of the previous character traits we've seen for sean are pushed even further: he's even more playful than before (the towel scene & the fighting scene), he keeps tabs on everything, he's still as rough & violent as before, yet he's already more caring (wiping white's blood bc gumpa asked him, letting him drink out of his can, accepting that he sleeps in the same room...) a lot of sean’s development in ep 3 is who he is in relation to white, bc even if they both pretend there's not, a sort of relationship is forming, which was never there with sean & black. and we can see that by namo, who for me represents someone who sean really cares about but also someone who can see right through him, and she sees that sean's mind is elsewhere when he plays the bass, bc he's thinking of white. even though ep 3 doesn't necessarily show any new side to sean, I still love him in that ep bc he's starting to feel more & more fully fledged as a character, with his complexity, depth & frankly contradictions as well.

and then ep 4, which here is kinda the climax of sean's contradictions in the sense that it starts with sean having BY FAR his most vulnerable & genuinely gut-wrenching moment we’ve seen until now as he cries while he has a nightmare. and he doesn't seem to remember it in the morning, or at least he's not phased by it, which means it's absolutely not the first time this happens. and here we discover a much more pitiful side of sean, which we can fill in ourselves why he's crying, bc from the trailer we know that thawi killed his family. and sean, from the beginning has been the loneliest character of the show. all the characters are lonely, but he just FEELS like he's all alone in the world, bc he hasn't created many relationships with the people around him. and for me, that nightmare scene just concretizes the fact that sean... is kind of a loser. he's lonely, he has no family, almost no friends, he's closed off, he has started at a disadvantage financially which is why he has to work at the garage to sustain himself, he got suspended for university... and all that sean really has? is his idea of revenge against thawi. that's literally all that's keeping him going.

and we can see it in the classroom scene where sean is the first to raise his hand to bring thawi's case to the forefront of the discussion, which white notes is odd for such a reserved guy, and he's right. sean is ready to do everything to make sure he calls out thawi’s unlawful actions. and we also have white noticing sean's disappointment that he pressed the crocodile's tooth and won, which is nice to see bc until then we had sean being the crazy observant one, but now we have white actually LOOKING at sean deeper than just trying to figure out if he attacked black or not.

so now, here we are! we know that sean is a very complex character who had never revealed so much of himself before white arrived, and it's a delight to know more about him every episode that gets released! I love seeing white discover more vulnerable sides of him at the same time as we, the audience, do. I can't wait to see sean confront thawi & get revenge on him, and mostly I can't wait to see THIS look sean gives white. it's all about the eyes for sean, it's all about the EYESSS:

tldr; sean wants to be a cool badass detached boy with no feelings, but in fact he’s a lonely sad boy with TOO many feelings & he deserves to be loved <3