Not Another tumblr

whenever you are cutting open a too-enthusiastically sealed package or slicing a reluctant tomato be always aware that whatever sharp implement you are using thirsts endlessly for your flesh and no matter where you've placed your hand, if you slip for just a moment, the point will FIND YOU

When you make a post like this you gotta be ready for ppl to put on their Patronizing Pants and start telling you to "use a sharp knife" and "cut away from yourself" as if the original tone didn't make it clear that you could be wearing head to toe chain mail and SOME DAYS the scissors or knife will zone in on your blood as if guided by a curse from Mount Olympus

Oh thank God a reputable profession

unclear. adj. of or pertaining to an uncle

think about how many people had sandwiches today and didn't give you a bite. doesn't it make you mad? doesn't it make you want to rip and tear until there's nothing left?

if you have to rely on specific scripts or turns of phrase to socialise that's totally fine, but you must NOT reveal them to your friends while slightly drunk. it's like showing how the magic trick works, you can't do it in front of them afterwards

i like dogs a lot but i can never remember the differences between breeds (apart from the few types i've actually owned/interacted with). but i know people looove their dogs and love talking about their dogs, so whenever im talking to a dog owner i'll ask what breed it is, and no matter what breed they say i'll say "oh! i've heard they have a really nice nature :D" and they always go YESSS THEY'RE GREAT and start gushing about their dog and we have a nice conversation and i build social credit with this person. anyway i told my friends about this script a few weeks ago when slightly drunk and now every time we're in public together and a dog goes past they turn to me and ask "does that one have a nice nature?" im in a hell of my own making

LETS BRING BACK 1337 SPEAK 

I THoUGHT YOU MEANT THE YEAR

my l0rd, t3h p34s4nt5 4r3 r3v01t1ng! W3 mu5t s411y f0rth 4g41n5t th3m 4thw1th!

Happy ten years of being so old no one knows what 1337 is

theres no difference between exercise and black magic both of them hurt your body at first and drain you of energy but the more you dabble in it the more powerful you become

this is the most inspiring thing i have ever read

You are not supposed to tell people this

“If you deny any affinity with another person or kind of person, if you declare it to be wholly different from yourself—as men have done to women, and class has done to class, and nation has done to nation—you may hate it, or deify it, but in either case you have denied its spiritual equality, and its human reality. You have made it into a thing, to which the only possible relationship is a power relationship. And thus you have fatally impoverished your own reality.” Ursula K. Le Guin "American SF and The Other" in Science-Fiction Studies 7, 1975.