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Contours and memory.

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you truly do not exist for other pplâs consumption and your existence is not hinged on making others happy and comfortable by stifling and hiding and crushing and editing parts of yourself to be less than who you really are
I will not cut myself down to size for your convenience. Choke.
becky i would forget loid even existed if yor did that in front of me
Your personal triggers and squicks do not get to determine what kind of art other people make.
People make shit. It's what we do. We make shit to explore, to inspire, to explain, to understand, but also to cope, to process, to educate, to warn, to go, "hey, wouldn't that be fucked up? Wild, right?"
Yes, sure, there are things that should be handled with care if they are used at all. But plenty more things are subjective. Some things are just not going to be to your tastes. So go find something that is to your tastes and stop worrying so much about what other people are doing and trying to dictate universal moral precepts about art based on your personal triggers and squicks.
I find possession stories super fucking triggering if I encounter them without warning, especially if they function as a sexual abuse metaphor. I'm not over here campaigning for every horror artist to stop writing possession stories because they make me feel shaky and dissociated. I just check Does The Dog Die before watching certain genres, and I have my husband or roommate preview anything I think might upset me so they can give me more detail. And if I genuinely don't think I can't handle it, I don't watch it. It's that simple.
#this excludes writing pedo or incest.
If you look at the tags on my original post, this post was originally about hospital horror, and how it's allowed to exist even if an individual has medical trauma and doesn't like the genre. But since someone wanted to go and put some shit on my post that I disagree with:
No, actually, it doesn't exclude those things. Dark themes in fiction are allowed to exist whether you like them or not.
Vladimir Nabokov's Lolita was not a real little girl who really got brutalized. She was a fictional character. No real child was harmed. People are not reading Lolita and going out thinking, "oh, this told me to abuse children, and clearly it's morally okay now." The existence of Lolita is not responsible for the existence of CSA.
Wes Craven's New Nightmare was pretty meta, but Freddy Krueger was still never real and never hurt any real kids, either. He's a story. None of those kids ever died, none of them ever got abused, and Fred Krueger never got burned to death, because they're all fake and never existed. Murder and CSA in the real world aren't Freddy Krueger's fault.
Jaime and Cersei Lannister are not real people. They are fake. They are words on paper, and actors on a screen. Lena Headey and Nikolaj Coster-Waldau are not siblings, and did not ever have real sex in the show. It was fake, simulated, not real sex. No siblings actually fucked. Nobody is watching/reading Game of Thrones and thinking, "oh, I can totally go fuck my sibling with no repercussions now!" The existence of Game of Thrones is not responsible for real-world incest.
Guillermo del Toro's film Crimson Peak didn't kick off an epidemic of everyone deciding it's okay to fuck their sister and kill their wife. William Faulkner's "A Rose For Emily" isn't making people kill men and sleep with their corpses, and Emily never really killed Homer because neither of them actually exist in the first place.
John Wick isn't making people run out and become hitmen. The very cute doggy that infamously dies in the first movie was not actually a real dog death--the dogs in John Wick were treated very well, according to a ScreenRant article I found!
Ghostface was played by a combination of stuntmen and a very talented voice actor, and all his murder victims were actors who were filming a pretend story. It was all choreographed and nobody really died. The benind-the-scenes stuff for the Scream series is actually really cool if you're into that sort of thing like I am.
Arcane didn't put grenade launchers in people's hands and turn them into vigilante fighters juiced up on Super Drugs--and you know what, neither did any of the things the Batman franchise has churned out. The Joker and Scarecrow and Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn aren't out there terrorizing New York City, because they're fantasy supervillains who aren't real and can't hurt you.
The endless waves of bandits in Skyrim are pixels on a screen, and I'm not killing real men when I cut them down. No real people got hurt when my Sims 4 house caught fire. Playing Super Smash Brothers hasn't gotten me into underground fighting rings, and neither did watching Fight Club.
It's all fiction.
None of it is real.
The characters are fake and do not exist.
Curate your own media experience and get your head out of your ass.
[ID: a comment left by tumblr user msexcelfractal, which reads "Cool post OP, now do Birth of a Nation. End ID.]
Content warning: antiblackness, antisemitism, sinophobia, general discussion of bigotry and oppression
You really want to try and go there as if that's some kind of gotcha on the subject of dark fiction? Fine. Let's go there. I've got sources and free time.
Birth of a Nation is a horrific hate crime of a film. It is flagrantly racist and was connected to a surge in KKK membership. Nobody should watch that film for enjoyment. It's horrific. Nobody should be forced to watch it, either. You don't have to watch the film, and I don't recommend you do, unless you're actively involved in studying it for whatever reason. It's a bad, hateful movie.
I have not watched it in its entirety and I don't really ever intend to. There are Black scholars who have already broken it down and discussed it at length, and I don't feel I'm going to get anything out of the film that they haven't already covered. If I need to study Birth of a Nation in more depth for whatever reason, I'm going to defer to Black scholarship on the subject.
But if you tried to ban the film altogether? If you tried to erase it from existence? I would ask what the fuck is wrong with you. Banning Birth of a Nation does absolutely nothing to combat the racism that created it. It wouldn't stop racists from making racist art. It wouldn't erase the damage done by the film. It wouldn't go back in time and make it retroactively never made.
You know what banning it would do, though? It would strip film scholars of the ability to discuss it. It would prohibit people from talking about exactly why it was bad. It would inhibit honest conversations about what the film was and who it affected.
You know what you do with horrific bigoted art like Birth of a Nation? You have content warnings, like the one I put at the beginning of this reply. You don't spring it on people who don't want to discuss it. You don't put it on for people to watch without warning. You don't tell everyone you know to go and watch it and give it money.
You do things like what Warner Brothers did with their Tom and Jerry disclaimer:
âThese animated shorts are products of their time. Some of them may depict some of the ethnic and racial prejudices that were commonplace in American society. These depictions were wrong then and are wrong today. While the following does not represent the Warner Bros. view of todayâs society, these animated shorts are being presented as they were originally created, because to do otherwise would be the same as claiming these prejudices never existed.âÂ
You damn sure don't erase it from history and pretend that ignoring it will solve bigotry. Censorship is not the answer, because censorship is always enforced harder on marginalized artists. You ban racism in film, you ban films by Black artists who are exploring the topic from their own perspective.
When the Hays Code banned "offense to other nations," you know what happened? It didn't stop racism in film, that's for damn sure. It instead gave bigoted censors a perfectly legal and easy way to shut down art by marginalized people, which they did gladly.
The rise of the Nazi Party in Germany resulted in the Reichsfilmkammer demanding the removal of all Jewish workers from Hollywood's European locations. American films began receiving heavy censorship and bans in Germany, and so American studios complied with the Reichsfilmkammer's demands in order to avoid legal trouble in Germany.
Despite the Nazi party's outright hostility toward Hollywood, the MPPDA office discouraged any negative depiction of Germany or the Nazi party. Germany had been such a huge market for American cinema that the Reichsfilmkammer's censorship codes for German films began impacting American-made cinema. Jewish representation in cinema all but disappeared overnight. Joseph Breen, the head of the censor board, was an open antisemite, going on open tirades against Jewish people. His censorship policies were flagrantly bigoted and only served to reinforce that bigotry on a systemic level.
In 1933, Herman J. Mankiewicz and Sam Jaffe tried and failed to make an anti-Hitler film titled "The Mad Dog of Europe." The Hays Code was used to deny the film's production. On July 17, 1933, Will Hays himself ordered the filmmakers to cease and desist, all in the name of "not offending Germany."
Said Joseph Breen, "It is to be remembered that there is strong pro-German and anti-Semitic feeling in this country, and, while those who are likely to approve of an anti-Hitler picture may think well of such an enterprise, they should keep in mind that millions of Americans might think otherwise.â
Variety said about the subject, âAmerican attitude on the matter is that American companies cannot afford to lose the German market no matter what the inconvenience of personnel shifts."
Anna May Wong, a Chinese-American actress, lost out on a leading role in the film "The Good Earth," due to the Code's explicit ban on interracial relationships. The leading man had already been cast with a white man wearing yellowface, meaning that Wong was unable to be cast as the leading lady and love interest, even though the characters were supposed to both be Chinese. The role instead went to a German-American actress wearing yellowface, who went on to win an Oscar for the role.
Censorship doesn't help anyone. Censorship does not protect anyone. Censorship does not prevent bigotry, and in fact only serves to reinforce it.
Anyone who read this far and learned something: being an independent media censorship researcher doesn't exactly pay the bills, so check out my Ko-Fi or Patreon if you learned something and feel generous.
My main sources for this post are:
Pre-Code Hollywood: Sex, Immorality, and Insurrection in American Cinema, 1930-1934, by Thomas Doherty
The Dame in the Kimono: Hollywood, Censorship, and the Production Code, by Leonard J. Leff and Jerold L. Simmons
The Encyclopedia of Censorship, by Jonathon Green & Nicholas J. Karolides
Morality and Entertainment: The Origins of the Motion Picture Production Code - Stephen Vaughn
Sin in Soft Focus: Pre-Code Hollywood, by Mark A. Vieira
Forbidden Hollywood: The Pre-Code Era (1930-1934), When Sin Ruled the Movies, by Mark A. Vieira
Hollywood's Censor: Joseph I. Breen & the Production Code Administration, by Thomas Doherty
And since you made me talk about Birth of a fucking Nation, here are some additional resources for people who are actually interested in Black media history:
Birth of an Industry: Blackface Minstrelsy and the Rise of American Animation, by Nicholas Sammond
Archival Rediscovery and the Production of History: Solving the Mystery of Something Good - Negro Kiss (1898), by Allyson Nadia Field
Humor and Ethnic Stereotypes in Vaudeville and Burlesque, by Lawrence E. Mintz
The Original Blues: The Emergence of the blues in African American Vaudeville, by Lynn Abbott and Doug Seroff
Waltzing in the Dark: African American Vaudeville and Race Politics in the Swing Era, by Brenda Dixon Gottschild
Darkest America: Black Minstrelsy from Slavery to Hip-Hop, by Yuval Taylor and Jake Austen
Love & Theft: Blackface Minstrelsy and the American Working Class, by Eric Lott
The Prettiest Girl on Stage is a Man: Race and Gender Benders in American Vaudeville, by Prof. Kathleen B. Casey
Dancing Down the Barricades: Sammy Davis, Jr. And the Long Civil Rights Era, by Matthew Frye Jacobson
Blackface, Whiteface, Insult and Imitation in American Popular Culture, by John Strausbaugh
A Change in the Weather: Modernist Imagination, African American Imaginary, by Geoffrey Jacques
Hollywood Black: The Stars, The Films, The Filmmakers by Donald Bogle
The Blackface Minstrel Show in Mass Media: 20th Century Performances on Radio, Records, Film, and Television, by Tim Brooks
Oscar Micheaux and His Circle: African-American Filmmaking and Race Cinema of the Silent Era, by Pearl Bowser, Jane Gaines, and Charles Musser
America on Film: Representing Race, Class, Gender and Sexuality at the Movies, by Harry M. Benshoff and Sean Griffin
White: Essays on Race and culture, by Richard Dyer
Black American Cinema, edited by Manthia Diawara
Colorization: One Hundred Years of Black Films in a White World, by Wil Haygood
Framing Blackness: The African American Image in Film, by Ed Guerrero
Toms, Coons, Mulattoes, Mammies, & Bucks: An Interpretive History of Blacks in American Films, by Donald Bogle
White Screens, Black Images: Hollywood From the Dark Side, by James Snead
Reel Inequality: Hollywood Actors and Racism, by Nancy Wang Yuen
The Hollywood Jim Crow: the Racial Politics of the Movie Industry, by Maryann Erigha

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passenger princess? No, Iâm the passenger knight. Iâve sworn an oath of homoerotic loyalty to the driver and will protect them until my last breath. I will carry out her road rage. Iâm why the front passenger seat is called shotgun
I am the passenger jester, here to keep up light and amusing conversation, but also aware enough of the driver's situation to know when to shut up and let them focus.
I'm the passenger wizard. You probably don't want to know what I'm doing over here. Once I figure out how to summon angels it's going to improve your gas mileage sooo much though.
The blonde doctor ladies that bossed people around and were experts in their fields and may have had a formative influence on my childhood
the brunettes with swords in high concept historical fiction movies that i was obsessed with in my youth
oh shit i forgot the king
you can tell a lot about someone based on their phone background. it shows whatâs most important to them
Reblog this and put what your phone background in the tags
my favorite customer service slip ups
First it was âgo to collegeâ
Then it was âmajor in STEMâ
Then it was âone year experienceâ
Then it was âthree years experienceâ
Then it was âthree years of DIRECTLY RELATED experienceâ
Then it was five years of DIRECTLY RELATED experience"
Now, if you didnât practically invent the technology a company uses, youâve got no shot.
âbut I started in the mailr..â
Nobody gives a f*ck about how you started in the mail room. Youâre the CEO now. The mail room job is an unpaid internship now, and it requires 3 years of directly related mail delivery experience to even be considered. Sit down.
Holy shit, you reblogged this from 3 years ago and, like⌠thereâs not a word here Iâd change

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you heathens will reblog day specific posts any day of the week. i woke up thinking it was wednesday
happy wake up thinking it was wednesday sunday
it's fucking friday
happy woke up thinking it was wednesday sunday but it was actually fucking friday tuesday
Fun Story: My director kept telling me and my tenor sax buddy to play softer. No matter what we did, it wasnât soft enough for him. So getting frustrated, I told my buddy âDont play this time. Just fake itâÂ
Our Band Director then informed us we sounded perfect.Â
To my readers: âpâ means quiet, âppâ means really quiet. Iâve never seen âppppâ before haha.
On the contrast, âfâ means loud, and âffffâ probably means so loud you go unconscious.
I had ffff in a piece once and my conductor told me to play as loudly as physically possible without falling off my chairâŚ
Me and my trombone buddies had âffffâ and he sat next to me and played so hard that he fell out of his chair.
The lengths we go for music.
Okay yeah so I play the bass clarinet and the amount of air you have to move and the stiffness of the reed means it only has two settings and that is loud and louder, with an optional LOUDEST that includes a 50% probability of HORRIBLE CROAKING NOISE which is the bass equivalent of the ubiquitous clarinet shriek.
One day, when I was in concert band in high school, we got a new piece handed out for the first time, and there was a strange little commotion back in the tuba section â whispering, and pointing at something in the music, and swatting at each otherâs hands all shhh donât call attention to it. And although they did attract the attention of basically everyone else in the band, they managed to avoid being noticed by the band director, who gave us a few minutes to look over our parts and then said, âAll right, letâs run through it up to section A.â
And here we are, cheerfully playing along, sounding reasonably competent â but everyone, when they have the attention to spare, is keeping an eye on the tuba players. They donât come in for the first eight measures or so, and then when they do come in, what we see is:
[stifled giggling]
[reeeeeeally deep breath]
[COLOSSAL FOGHORN NOISE]
The entire band stops dead, in the cacophonous kind of way that a band stops when it hasnât actually been cued to stop. The band director doesnât even say anything, just looks straight back at the tubas and makes a helpless sort of why gesture.
In unison, the tuba players defend themselves: âTHERE WERE FOUR FâS.â
FFFF is not really a rational dynamic marking for any instrument, but for the love of all that is holy why would you put it in a tuba part.
This is the best band postÂ
Everyone else go home
Oh man, so I play trombone, and we got this piece called Florentiner Marsch by Julius Fucik, and we saw this
which is 8 fortes. We were shocked until,
that is 24 fortes who the fuck does that
Who does that?
This guy. Take a good look - that is the moustache of a man with nothing to lose.
When I was a kid, I regularly lost reading privileges for "having an attitude" and "acting out".
It wasn't as simple as being told not to read during other activities- one of the first times it happened, I remember being six years old, watching my stepfather pull fistfuls of books off my bookshelf and throw them to the floor in a heaping mess while I cried and asked him to stop.
It was weird. Every other adult I knew described me as exceptionally well-behaved, but at home, it was the opposite, and it was blamed on "learning bad habits from that shit you're reading".
Because I couldn't read at home, I spent all my free time at school in the library, reading with my friends.
When I grew up and moved away, I realized that my family life was toxic and abusive, and the "attitudes" I was being punished for were standing up for myself, standing up for my younger siblings, and resisting actual, real-life psychological abuse. Because I'd learned from what I'd read that my family wasn't normal, not like my parents said it was, and in my stories, the heroes were the people who spoke out when it was hard to.
It is insane to me that there are students right now who can't access books. It is insane that books are being outlawed. It is perverse that we are stealing away an entire generation's ability to contextualize their lives, to learn about the world around them, to develop critical thinking skills and express themselves and feel connected to the world or escape from it, whatever and whenever and however they need.
That is not how you raise a compassionate, thoughtful, powerful society.
That's how you process cattle.
It's fucking disgusting.
There's something so deeply profound about Suzume's ideas about how people love the land, and how in return the land loves its people. That the separation of people from the places they love is a trauma so deep, not just in the people but in the land itself, these lonely places that are abandoned, that it ripples and builds and breaks the world again.
That you heal that wound by remembering how people loved that place, and then let it go. You remember the love and happiness. And then you return it to the gods. That you grieve the land like you grieve a person- you have to remember it, love it, before you can really heal from its loss.
Just watched Suzume and!!! The symbolism!!!!
The big thing I picked up on while watching was the hair ties on her wrist throughout the film. She starts with multiple on each of her wrists, and each time she closes a door she loses on of her hair ties. By the end of the movie, her wrists are bare and her hair is down and untied.
I just!!!! I love this movie so much

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Iâm crying so good you donât understand
I really have been blessed by the back to back release of Trigun Stampede and Suzume, because those two have some of the most unabashedly emotional scores Iâve heard in a while now. Suzumeâs music is so alive, and just like its predecessor âYour Nameâ, itâs otherworldly and mythological.
And another feature that I MUST mention about Suzume: the chorus. Going back into some context, in my long long history of loving movie scores, there has always been one very specific thing in music that I will always be amazed by and welcome with open arms. Itâs my niche weakness, and every time I hear it, I get goosebumps all over and a chill down my spine and a blossoming in the space between my heart and my soul. That specific thing, is Bulgarian folk singing.
This music, stemming from Bulgariaâs specific history with vocal music, is an extremely unique thing and anyone whoâs taken a chorus class in high school can attest to it. Its placement in the palette is extremely difficult in that it closes the throat, and itâs centered at the front of your mouth/sinuses. Something like that. I canât quite remember. But itâs an incredible sound to hear, and when you sing like that with a whole CHOIR, that means thereâs like 8 different sections all singing dissonant intervals, rather than âharmonicâ ones. But they make it seem like itâs the only way music should sound. Itâs seriously indescribable how beautiful that music is. To me, itâs the most human sound there is, and at the same time it feels so close to spirituality.
You might have heard it in these movies:
Brother Bear (2003) composed by Mark Mancina âTransformationâ âThree Brothersâ âAwakes As a Bearâ âWilderness of Danger and Beautyâ
Ghost in the Shell (1995) composed by Kenji Kawaii, most notably in the opening credits
Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018) composed by John Powell âMarauders Arriveâ âSavareen Standoffâ
And in these movies and in Suzume, they all take their own creative twist to the style according to their music culture, but the inspiration is CLEAR. This very old style of music is effective in displaying something ancient, spiritual, united, and ethereal.
So, me, who grew up on Brother Bear, who listened to âTransformationâ for the first time i ever saw the Aurora borealis in person, who spent my sophomore music project on this style of singing, whoâs favorite movie is âYour Nameâ, who was so so so excited to hear the score for Suzumeâimagine the feeling I felt when I heard that choir explode into the already beautiful scene at âAbandoned Resortâ. Every cell in my body was set alight, and my face broke into this expression of devastation. I couldnât believe it. It was so perfect. Some of the most stunning visuals in animation paired with THAT music.
I cannot thank Kazuma Jinnouchi, RADWIMPS, and Makoto Shinkai enough for what they created. It means so so much to me, and I hope that no one will overlook this music, and that theyâll recognize the choir for the masterpiece it is. I cry so much with Suzume, for so many reasons. But for this one reason, Iâm really proud to say, made me cry.
Weiss and bumbleby sitting on the cat, look at Yang's hand and how Blake sat next to her