to indeed be a god

Good morning shanelovers shanethinkers shaneposters and shaneiacs as well

Why is it that every time I google something like "Are olives poisonous to cats" the top results are always like "Fun fact: Cats are carnivores! This means that they eat meat. There is no reason to include olives in a cat's diet. You should feed your cat cat food, which is dry or wet food especially designed for cats. You can purchase this at a store." like is there a single person alive on the planet who's googled "Are blueberry muffins safe for cats" because they're planning on switching their cat to a muffin-only diet??? No, I'm asking because the little bastard somehow popped open the packet while I was putting away the groceries and dragged one under the couch before I could react and now I need to know if I should call the after-hours vet. "Cats should not eat spaghetti." NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!!!! "Try to keep human food away from cats." i live in a studio apartment with a completely silent and permanently hungry apex predator who has the intelligence of a toddler and the desperate Machiavellian cunning of a creature who spent his formative months on the streets. He can already open doors and he is this 👌 close to learning how to open the microwave. He is stronger than me and covered in knives. So im gonna do my best but for the moment i just need you to tell me whether this yoghurt is going to kill my son y/n

For plants specifically, there’s also a wildly detailed set of posts and listings about toxicity on the old, wonderful, Plants Are the Strangest People blog

Started using the phrase “that’s cilantro to me” to refer to the presence of a story element that completely ruins a piece of media for me, disproportionate to its actual badness.

"it would be so good if it was good" will haunt you but "it's extremely good, except for the one or two parts which are so bad it's genuinely kind of insulting" will straight up drive you insane

still thinking about the way ilya teases shane is like. you are a dork (boring). you are not even really who i'm supposed to have a crush on, even my not-completely-gay side is supposed to find you tedious, like have you met svetlana? have you met sasha? i like danger i am a tigershirtwearingtotheclub bad boy (the tiger says im cool dont worry about it) and a sex god and you can't even break a rule about where to smoke a cigarette you are so squeaky clean its hard to even look right at you, and I think I JUST THINK !!!!! that ilya is actually irritated by shane's uncoolness at first (HEAR ME OUT) like ilya is irked by it like shanes good boy ness ruffles ILYAS feathers because it flies in the face of what ilya knows to be true which is that good guys are suckers good guys get taken advantage of your goodness cant save you and if it can then maybe your world is too different from mine because thats not the way the real world works like shane is nothing like what ilya thought he'd fall for and i don't think it was love at first sight i think ilya was being sincere in wanting to roll his eyes and feeling annoyed and legitimately teasing shane because he didn't -AT FIRST- respect him, or at least he wanted to knock him down a peg, and then shane was like, ok so if you knock me down a peg what if I try really hard to earn your respect and THAT is when ilya really noticed shane for the first time because that's what teasing was MADE for like someone who earnestly tries hard and cares about quality is so ripe for teasing and bullying and the thing is ilya is walking a VERY thin line between teasing from a place of his fragile ego and his trauma-tinged-desire and not pushing shane too far but still pushing SOMETHING on shane because shane likes to be pushed (which is insane its insane that ilya found his freaking soulmate of a likes-to-be-pushed-around boy in someone who ilya finds dorky and boring but then the boring becomes so erotic because look at his boy THATS HIS BOY his boring canadian freckled boy he hit the freaking LOTTERY) like every bully-that-secretly-wants-to-be-loved's dream and I think its worth exploring it as that as ilya being a bully sometimes as real meanness spilling out in places that make it messy as shane experiencing bullying but feeling something complicated from it like attention but the wrong kind but the wrong is wrapped up in something good too like theres something sweet and theres something sinister and sometimes its hard to tell which is which

Thinking about the fact that Ilya and Shane probably kissed SO much that first day at the cottage like Shane’s jaw was achy and their mouths were puffy and swollen and deep pink at the end of the day

I just fucking love love love when a narrative shows me a character who is an insufferable and badly behaved bully being propped up by an even shittier familal authority figure assuring them that they are a Special Princess who deserves to walk all over everyone else, and then the narrative pulls back a little and shows me that in fact the love and support of that authority figure is Deeply Conditional and Finite and this bully is both aware of it and haunted by that knowledge. Their Special Princess Swagger is PAPER thin

i appreciate that "do it scared" is something that exists as a phrase and it has personally helped me a lot. however we must understand the difference between scared as in "i'm nervous meeting new people/what if i fail" and Scared as in "i might get hatecrimed"

"do it scared" to someone nervous about trying painting for the first time is reasonable if trite, "do it scared" to someone talking about how they feel they can't exist in public without potentially getting murdered makes you sound like a massive prick.

I wish I was a female tiger because then if I was talking to someone and I was getting off topic I could say “but I tigress,” and then kill and eat them because I am a tiger