Something

so janity is looking at this thing and thinking. this looks. a lot. like mom's description of the fuck-ass secunit

What Murderbot believes is happening: It’s got a legitimate reason to think JB is so fucking annoying. Does it know JB has become its bitch eating crackers? Yes. But that bitch is eating crackers and it does make MB crazy.

What Jollybaby believes is happening: Murderbot replaced its governor module with a stick up its ass. What could JB possibly do other than tease it? It’s HELPING. Someday MB will get it and chill tf out.

What is happening: The station bots and the bot pilots have broken into factions. The station bots all think MB is a bit of an asshole, thanks for saving the president or whatever but you’re not better than us bc you have guns in your arms.

The bot pilots meanwhile can’t help but be fond of MB. It’s not an asshole to them. It sends them new media and always says please. Ok so it’s sort of a dick, you would be too if you’d been manufactured in the CR.

This all manifests in heated debates about JBs behavior and MBs behavior where the station bots all find JB hilarious but the bot pilots don’t like MB being teased when it doesn’t even know.

But the ONE TIME a CR ship came through and its botpilot had something to say about the SecUnit every single bot within range fell in line. As far as Jollybaby is concerned that’s MY Dickbag SecUnit I am making my crazy on purpose. As far as YOURE concerned it’s a perfect construct who has never done anything bad in its life.

MB: My hair was 2cm longer and I'd changed the colour and texture

Me: bleached wolfcut, gottit

MB: Nana gave me a patterned wrap

Gold, Silver, and Bronze!🥇🥈🥉

(For the record, I’m not even in the fandom, so I don’t know, if it has one already… but it really should, if it doesn’t. As a treat).

its five am but this was so insanely funny I had to draw something

i am thinking. about shitty corporate mining installations. all the supplies they bring have to last for the entire contract, right? there's no renewable food sources on desolate little asteroids. if anything happened to their rations, or whatever primordial goop the recyclers turn into food, the workers are just turbofucked. sure, companies could send supply shuttles, but that's wasted fuel and a ship that could potentially get hijacked by angry indentured miners. just not cost effective.

but you know what is renewable, readily available, and will get you enough protein to last until the return shuttle comes? what grows back every time you shove it in a cubicle?

honestly, i could see particularly bold companies marketing their constructs as "emergency rations" in the right circumstances. in real life cases of desperation-induced cannibalism, the first victims are always the most "expendable" members of a group-- what is more expendable than something that isn't even human in the first place, that can't fight you, that won't even die after you carve it up?

Yesssssss the tag bait worked!

Okay so if you’ve seen some of my book fanart (on phone too hard to link) my SecUnit has a little white square on the right side of its lower back.

That is its nutritional values and warnings that it is not made for human consumption but can be consumed in an emergency. Then it’s like energy ratings, allergen warnings, microplastic warnings and a few ways to cook it to make it safer.

My thoughts being okay a lot of these SecUnits are being used on planet surveys and mines. You know what happens in both these locations? People get stranded with the equipment. And once the emergency kits run out, they’re going to need a supplementary food source and a SecUnit can remain functional for a long period of time with significant amounts of organics missing.

Of course once rescued you will be charged for consuming bits of your SecUnit, but at a “generous rate”.