prassino

i don’t know why you’re being a bitch when it would actually be great for lesbians (and everyone ) if people (like the woman in the op) realized they don’t have to date and can be happy/fulfilled alone. like that’s kind of the solution… instead of trying to sub in women that they aren’t for real into because they don’t enjoy dating men, they can just… opt to not date.

there are places in the world today that are experiencing 40°C for the first time in recorded history. of course there's no way to know whether chucking billionaires into volcanos will appease the sun god but i feel we're doing the scientific method a disservice if we don't at least try

can you put that thing on a leash?

20-somethings on this website doing none of the things we’re evolved to do for our health and then wondering why they’re so depressed. (smacking you through the screen) GO EAT A LEAF!!!!!!!! GO CRACK A NUT OPEN WITH A ROCK YOU SAD TORMENTED LITTLE APE

i know this is easier said than done and i do not mean this judgementally but you have to start treating yourself like the animal you are in any small consistent way you can. like imagine you went to a zoo and you saw a gorilla sitting in front of blue screens for hours with no natural light no physical activity no interaction with peers no nutritious whole foods no fresh air no water and a pack of cigarettes. you would run screaming to the local news about the blatant animal abuse. you would be demanding boycotts you’d be sledgehammering locks off cages. do you get what i am saying please go squish your toes in mud

This this this! You're your own zookeeper so stop violating ethics boards

The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything.

when u touch an unaware cat and they make that small surprised sound reblog if u agree

I cannot fucking believe I am drunk, past midnight, and tumblr is throwing fucking saturated fatty-acids at me

Listen here friendo I didn’t sit through a year of organic chemistry for you to come into my house and call a carboxylic acid a saturated fatty acid you respect that hexadecanoic acid

And I didnt get a degree in biochemistry to hear you say that carboxylic acids with aliphatic chains arent fatty acids. That hexadecanoic acid IS a saturated fatty acid!

doing things at the right age is literally a made up concept. you can start/pursue anything at any age. btw.

your edible will never kick in because you are a bad person

Holy Communion

i really like how the milkman exists as an entirely fossilized character who now serves no purpose other than to fuck people's wives for the punchline

knowing that the past tense of "hang" is "hanged" when it's a method of execution can be very entertaining because you'll be watching a horror movie and someone goes "local legend says a woman was hung in these woods" and you're like "👀 good for her I guess"

At this point it's more disappointing than shocking that not a single assassin in the states can aim a fucking gun

Three Fuckinh Times Bruh wake me up when we get there

saying "question mark?" and "however comma," out loud are game changers. punctuation on the go. and it's always the funniest thing that anyone around you has ever heard