head full of nothin

why is muriel from courage the cowardly dog with that ugly beast he don’t even got teeth she need to get with a real man like me

i don’t know if elephants understand politics but i Highly doubt they would be republicans

@efrmellifer

And then your hip would break because their medical staff is garage and they don’t have the same regulations as over so no you’re back to square one you fucking tool

Damn. Spains healthcare sure isnt garage like they said

there is literally no reason why in our glorious age of technology we shouldn’t be able to change our names for free anytime anywhere. like literally what is the point in forcing people to go down to a legislative office, pay upwards of 200$ sometimes more, to go before a judge and go ‘can i change my name, like MY name, like not even somebody else’s name’ and there’s a chance your request might be DENIED? in the year of our lord 2020? we have fucking social security numbers what’s the fucking holdup are you telling me that our system is so incompetent that nothing is digitized and that everything is on paper? that we’d have to go through and manually change everything? are you telling me that in anno domini 2020 we cannot freely change our names to whatever the fuck we want whenever the fuck we want? i can go and get a wholeass new face, COMPLETELY transmogrify myself, i could get one of my arms cut off and replaced with a fishtank but change my NAME? i can fucking have a fucking spa worker draw my blood spin the plasma out of it and give me a BLOOD FACIAL but i cant change my NAME? MY name? in the year of our lord 2020? 

Republicans are beyond parody I swear to fuck.

This 1️⃣ goes out to all the horny 💏 couples out there who are thinking 🤔 of getting rowdy 🔞 this 💌Valentines💮 day evening: 👍 👎DO ❌️ NOT👍 👎 If you do your child 🧒 will be born 👏 a ♏SCORPIO♏ Now, why ❓️ don’t ❌️ we like Scorpio's♏? For starters, “Scorpio” has 7️⃣ letters 🔠. 7️⃣ letters 🔠: 7️⃣ deadly ☠️ sins ✝️ 🙅‍♀ Now, what are the 7️⃣ deadly ☠️ sins? Wrath, Sloth, Gluttony, Envy 👏👏 Envy is associated with the color GREEN 💚 What else is green 💚? Marijuana. Just 1️⃣ more pothead in the world 🗺️. LAME. Now where is pot 🍲 legal? Canada 🇨🇦, Washington, Colorado, Oregon, Alaska, airplane ✈️ bathrooms if the pilot’s 👨‍✈️ chill. And where can 🥫 planes ✈️ take you? California 🕶. And what’s on California’s state flag 🚩? A BEAR 🐻. Your child 🧒. Is gay 👨‍❤️‍👨.

The execution is like slam poetry but the content is clearly a shitpost and that’s def the most powerful combination I’ve encountered in a while