PraiseCastiel

Spyro the Dragon Custom Plush

After almost 300 hours of work, he is finally done! I am so proud of him, Spyro holds a special place in my heart. He is 20" tall.

If you want to see how I made him, I have over 50 posts detailing his creation on my patreon (available for $1). I also have an advanced airbrushing walkthrough video available to $5+ patrons this month.  www.patreon.com/Nazegoreng/

Every share is extremely appreciated. 

It may just be me, I don’t know. But every single time I see this on my dash or on someone’s blog or anywhere else, I kind of just breathe a sigh of relief. That’s one more person who cares. That’s one more person who doesn’t hate me.

Because it means so much, especially when all the media is spewing out is that I’m a terrible person and no one wants people like me near them. It means so much because I’m tired of people who won’t sit next to me in class, or who choose to join the longer line at the grocery store because they don’t want to be beside me and my family. It means so much when I have to lift my head any time someone says the words Islam or Muslim because I’m scared that they’ll say something that’ll hurt, when I have to pay attention to the news because who knows what so and so is saying now, who knows which of my people are being attacked now, who knows what’s going to happen to me now.

It means so much because I’ve been given the idea that the world is against me. And a huge part of it may be, but at least I’ve been reminded that some of it, just a small group of people, acknowledges that I’m a person too. That people like me are just that, people.

Spreading awareness. That’s what I want.

Everybody thinks I ignore all their messages. Hundreds of messages, and I’m sitting here like a dumb shit not hearing it or something. No. I fucking know you all care. But from my perspective, your messages and efforts feel like you’re telling me to stop complaining. 

I know you guys don’t mean it that way, but when you send a private message saying “I love your stuff” after I’ve been told to kill myself, it’s like you’re saying “Elicia stop feeling bad.”

???????

I FEEL BAD. THERE”S NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP THAT. I AM ALLOWED TO FEEL BAD. I AM GOING TO FEEL BAD NO MATTER WHAT. I genuinely feel like everyone is refusing to let me cry? Or be upset? Every single message is some version of “stop feeling bad.” People are holding me hostage not to feel bad.

And no, nobody spreads awareness. Nobody speaks up. Nobody is making posts about bullying or misogyny or hate. Nobody is being loud the way I’m forced to be. The word around town is not “Bullying is a problem.” It’s “Poor Euclase gets so much hate I don’t understand omg it’s a freakshow over there I love her art though.”

All I literally want is to know I’m not alone. I feel alone because everyone is shouting—begging, demanding, pleading—at me. When I get hate, everyone tells ME. Everyone rushes in to police ME.

No one is shouting in the other direction, out here. And that’s ALL I do. All I do is shout in the other direction. I feel like the only person who is.

And I don’t understand why people get defensive about that. I’m trying to take care of myself by spreading awareness of this enormous problem. But people are like, “LOL just ignore the haters” and “we love your art don’t be sad” and they’re fucking missing the point.

But last time I reblogged one ten/fifteen minutes later I got a call offering me a job

But I reblogged it because I was waiting on hearing back from the job. So there you go.

Yes, please! How about it?

These two are the old souls, the ones who try and fail and then try again every time. The idea of them comforting one another, and Dean protecting and angering and then protecting them both, just makes me happy. In my opinion, there is no bond that Dean and Castiel could share that could possibly be more profound than their mutual adoration of Sam, and their need to watch over him. And there isn’t anyone who would understand Sam’s need to make Dean proud of him the way Castiel does.