shorten; sever; separate

         ❝  we hated OURSELVES.  ❞

              @praecido​​     .     starkid starter call

    esme had not chosen her own turning. and while she does not resent carlisle for life given back to her when she had let it go, some days she wonders if it is a life she would have chosen. (perhaps if she had been told she would find love with carlisle, that they would build this family, she thinks that she would. she knows she’d choose it now even if she hadn’t then.) she does not quite know how to handle the question of bella wishing to turn and yet worrying over it, too. “terrible things can always happen,” she says. and if the words are not comforting, at least her voice is soothing. “even after you turn. but in all the time i’ve been alive, despite everything, i know they are rare enough that worrying about them does no one any good. you’re young, bella. and you will still be young, when the time comes. someday, you’ll miss parts of being human, no matter how happy you are. don’t let the time you have left be marred by worry.” 

▌█ ∵   ♥   ∵ █ ▌Sensationalization was something she knew all too well. The Parade and the festival were sensationalized beyond belief. Most people came to see what it was like, try and sneak a peek, reminders of what not to do and growing up there were always stories about those who dared to peek. You shouldn’t look or you will disappear like Angela Fathers or the soft whispers about the people who spoke about the Whistler. She could sympathize with how it must have felt to have people do that. ❝ I am so sorry to hear about that or bring it up. I genuinely had no idea. ❞ Mallory’s words are honest giving her an understanding look before she listened more intently. Every once in awhile providing a nod to show she was still engaged in what Bella was talking about.  The audience she spoke for and of did a lot of the things Bella was outlining. Drawing lines connecting dots they thought they saw. Sometimes it could be disrespectful but sometimes it helped where police or other people would overlook things and in more recent years had helped solve a lot of cold cases. While she understood the slight annoyance of it, she did have a lot of respect for the people who did things like that.❝ That is true, I know a lot of our listeners participate in forums online to help look into things like that. They send them to us frequently to either look into or if they have suspicious things like Forks does for us to look into. I think the biggest reason they pointed myself and the others in this direction is because of what happened with your family friend. ❞ Mallory hesitates for a moment looking at her notes. She had more information, personal things that her listeners had sent her and that she had found online but she was trying to be respectful of the earlier wishes. ❝ Other issues were brought to my attention that also seem to circulate around you. A lot of people think that certain people in certain places can cause a string of events, or influence larger groups of people that can cause a retaliation, especially in small towns. We have ours we have a magician who robs us blind three times a year.❞ A small laugh and shake of her head. It sounds so stupid, and like a total lie but they had covered it in an episode already and it was very real. She was just leaving out what happened to the people that the magician took. ❝ Do you think that you arriving around the time these rumors started is why people pointed me to you? I can’t imagine how obnoxious that question might be I’m sorry. ❞

he  snorts  at  the  answer  she’s  given  ;        he  can  read  it  on  her  face  that  she’s  lying  and  he  doesn’t  need  to  read  a  mind  to  know  this.     fingertips  fidget  as  they  comb  through  chestnut  locks  upon  his  head  before  he  diverges  himself  from  the  path  their  on  to  climb  up  solid  oak  dusted  with  snow  and  green  shrub.      it’s  off  course,  yet  he  climbs  until  he’s  reached  limb  sturdy  enough  for  weight  and  settles  core  there,  patting  spot  beside  him  as  gaze  peers  down  toward  bella.

                                                ‘      come  on,    it’s  nice  up  here.     ‘

he  mutters  enough  for  her  to  hear,  awaiting,  and  there’s  a  softness  in  his  gaze  that’s  saying  let’s  talk  about  this  because  he  can  tell  she’s  apprehensive  about  her  fathers  wearying  state  of  age  and  he  can  read  that  just                needs  to  be  told  that  it’s  alright  to  grieve  sometimes.    it’s  alright  to  feel  sad  when  you  outlive  everyone  you  will  ever  love  in  time.

     an unimpressed look is cast upward as he climbs a tree with sudden determination - it isn’t unusual for them to climb and leap from branch to branch, but bella hadn’t been expecting the detour. still, she huffs a sigh that she knows he can hear, breath puffing white from her lips, and makes to follow him up the chilled bark. it feels like a different world up in the canopy, far above the ground below and the people on it. it feels like room to breathe, even if she doesn’t need to anymore. nothing but the sky stretching out above and around her.

thick  snow  hangs  through  forested  groves,  soft  green  peaks  upon  their  entry  into  the  woodlands,  yet  it’s  quick  to  be  dusted  white  concoctions  as  he  steps  closer  to  splotches  of  forest  shades.        ashen  hues  shift  toward  the  unusually  quiet  brunette  adopted  sister,  lips  quirk  into  a  grin  as  he  bumps  his  shoulder  into  hers.

                                            ‘   you’re  quiet.                                                     —-    what’s  wrong  ?   ‘

he  hums  softly,  calloused  digits  shoved  into  pockets  of  jet  colored  jacket  snugged  onto   his  shoulders  as  if  it  would  affect  his  body  heat.    endless  cold  endeavors  cast  into  veins  from  venom  clinging  him  to  life  eternally.   hand  moves  from  one  pocket  to  snake  toward  her  shoulder,  lightly  nudging  her  to  the  side  and  chuckling  softly.      /    @praecido​

     there’s something nicer about the forest in the winter. the way the snow quiets footsteps and casts a sort of hush over everything, leaving space in bella’s head to think. she’s got it under control, mostly, but sometimes the rush of sounds that ricochets in her skull is enough to make her teeth ache. head tilts and she nudges him back. “i’m always quiet,” that’s a lie, but it gives her a minute to think.

Ferris rarely let people come to the house, but she didn’t plan on letting Bella inside so she figured as long as her mother remained inside and comfortable, it’d be alright. Everyone in Forks already knew where she lived and she had cleaned up the egg from the garage door, but it was still evident the Fink home was not a favorite. Aside from being on the lesser side of town, the windows were boarded up with graffiti and the mailbox was permanently crooked from baseball bats and driveby baseball. Ferris wasn’t ashamed of her home, however, she had rarely known different. It used to bother her; maybe seeing her house would give Bella an insight to what Ferris dealt with–  why she was so hesitant to warm up to people.

Standing from the table, Ferris met Bella by the driveway; arms full of decorations. “It’s nothing really,” Ferris assured with a haphazard shrug, “We made more decorations this year so–  I kinda needed the help and…  it’d be nice to get to know you a little more, I guess.” Looking at the boxes in her arms, Ferris shifted her feet and looked at the house briefly before quickly turning to Bella. “I hope you don’t mind a little hike. The tree I have in mind is about forty minutes hike from here. Not uphill though and I have cocoa for after.” She glanced at two thermoses attached to her backpack before standing awkwardly a moment. “Okay, let’s go,” she sighed turning and heading to forest across the yard. “Is this your first Christmas with Charlie?”

     she has driven past this house before, knows vaguely that it’s ferris’ home, that it’s pretty constantly tormented by shitty locals. charlie has told her the basics of ferris, when bella got to forks and was greeted by some people at school with surprise - you’re more normal than i thought you would be - that she isn’t as...odd as ferris ( that’s not the terms they used, but bella would feel bad even thinking of someone as a freak, so. ). “here, let me take some of those,” she reaches for one of the boxes, “you, uh - i can take one. i’d like to get to know you, too,” she flashes a smile and tucks a loose strand of hair behind the shell of a cold ear.