City of Pork

basketball players fight over the basketball because they are hypnotized before each game to believe it is their egg

The most terrifying part of having memory issues is when you can feel something from 5 seconds ago be thrown out the window and there's an empty hole where it once was. You remember that you forgot something.

My 5 year plan is to keep buying $8 frozen coffees until I die of preventable illness

why don't you get a passport and cross the border to the great nation of kill yourself

It's Another Beautiful Day of Not Being On Mount Everest. just how Every day of my life will be Another Beautiful Day of Not Being On Mount Everest, on account of how I am Never Ever Going There.

does anyone know what the first step of unlearning shame is. please say it’s substance abuse

It’s substance abuse

white europeans love to pretend like the united states and europe aren’t two cheeks of the same ass

so baby hold me closer in the toast slot of your toaster