flor

the reason sam didn’t want dean to use his computer in s2 ep15 was because he was scared dean would see all the gay stepbrother porn he had on there

samdean sex tape that starts with the camera shaking and dean removing his hand from in front of the lens to reveal the dim motel room where sam is sprawled against the headboard. the audio crackling as dean says, “camera’s off sammy, relax” and walks to the bed. the audio catches sam’s protests before dean cuts him off again, “jesus sammy, I said the fuckin’ camera’s off, c’mon”

Honestly, as much as Dean drinks, I feel like he's confessed all sorts of incestuous, fucked up shit either directly to Sam or to someone else about Sam. Because people who aren't even properly drunk start letting confessions loose. That man drinking 50some drinks a week? I know he was getting sloppy sometimes, blacking out, rambling, embarrassing himself. Grabbing Sammy and mumbling "baby, it's you, it's only you, don't you fucking know that by now? C'mere, I need you to--just stay with me tonight, need to feel you" trying to pull Sam on top of him into the bed, Sam flushed and trying to tell Dean "you're drunk, you just need to sleep," neither of them talking about it in the morning, of course. Maybe Dean doesn't even remember. Maybe he knows just how much to drink to black out so he won't remember, even though there's always a nagging feeling in the back of his hungover brain, like a memory that's been forcibly removed but the itch remains. He doesn't know what he said, but he knows that he said something.