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Josh lifts his gaze and finds Tyler already looking at him.  "I-" he falters. There are faint smile lines around Tyler's eyes, a faint crease between his brows. He fills out the jacket and shirt that he's wearing, no longer wiry angles, but a little soft around the edges. Settled. The past decade has been gentle with him, but it has still scrawled evidence of that time passing across his form like his handwriting across the pages of his notebooks.  He looks good. He looks like himself. "Josh?" Tyler asks, gentle and undemanding. I'm so glad I've gotten to watch you age. I'm so glad we're both alive.  "Thanks for coming to get me," he says instead.

Me, tears streaming down my face, sobbing, as I stare at the stars: it’s just so beautiful

you want a tally, i lost the count

I know I'm not the first to realize this but something about the way 'carrying a torch' for someone means to be in love with them, to feel devoted to them even if it's unrequited, even if they're gone, and then