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my family. even if they want to pretend otherwise until they're on their deathbeds i have been continually emotionally and mentally criticized, attacked, guilt tripped, gaslighted, and manipulated by them . i feel like im going insane .every day is an attack on me , insulting my character, tormenting me. i can't get away from their manipulation and comments. i matter so little , everything i ask for is too much. my emotions are just a problem and they're fine with me as long as i don't show emotion or visibly struggle or get in their way by having a single opinion or thought that they don't like. i was dying in front of their eyes for years and they didn't care. now i'm even worse off but they're only annoyed that it impacts them. since they think i look better they remind me every day how much sicker i was compared to now even though im in the most agony of my life. im just a selfish problem and they have no issue reminding me of it day in and day out . every reason i am the way i am leads back to them somehow but it's my fault, always, it always has been since the moment i was born. don't get me wrong im far from perfect, in fact im a piece of shit likely due to the fact i was raised in such a dysfunctional way but im trying so hard every day and ultimately i can't help but feel the world is better off without me in it. i lost the two things that mattered to me most in the span of only two weeks and now there's truly nothing left for me im stuck surrounded by these people and i have nothing to offer to the world and i have nothing to show for the past three years of my life cause i lost it all in just one month.