elaborate conspiracy #22

Mailing my Tasmanian friend a brick of unsealed pyrite. The Tasmanian postal system mistakenly douses it with 16 cubic meters of seawater. Upon opening, all that remains is 100% pure sulfuric acid; killing my friend instantly.

I really cannot make it fucking clear enough that I hate every single one of you and none of you can be trusted to not defend your fucking reich the second someone is a bit too mean about it for your liking.

i dont know how you people can listen to eminem after he fucked up being a second century warlord so badly

they should let me drink bc i start looking at exposed flesh like the donner party

was meant to type ‘shouldn’t’ but oh well i guess bitings more

in the club getting psychosexual

Nice argument bro. Unfortunately for you, the meteor is coming

California girls we’re unforgivable

adam and eve and.. me. i was there too but no one ever talks about it because the world is addicted to silencing gay voices

”all language is approximation” believers when my autistic ass finally weaves together the exact right linguistic phrase that conveys pure information and shatters qualia as we know it

still genuinely incomprehensible to me that people wear shoes indoors. do you live in a mineshaft

multiple people in my immediate circle of acquaintances have seriously injured their feet indoors by not wearing shoes! either by stepping on small, pointy objects or stubbing their toes so hard they got nerve damage. some of us like to be protected! get yourself a cheap pair of house slippers or something. fuck.

why do you have small pointy objects scattered around on the floor of your literal home