I had the best night ever tonight. When I was a kid I thought when I grew up I would have a happy family and we would laugh and there would be dinner parties with amazing food and lots of love. That did not ever fully happen for me until tonight, and my heart grew a further 12 sizes today.

One validating thing about starting treatment for ADHD is that taking stimulants has proven to me that I actually have ADHD for real now, at least enough for my brain to be satisfied, because they are making me feel genuinely relaxed for the first time in my fucking life !!! I got sleepy earlier after taking my seconddose and I was able to just lie in bed and relax without 50 streams of thought and constant anxiety … is this how normal people live life 😭

With support from husband and welsh daddy, mutuals and possibly positive effects from the b12, I feel more like myself again, for now, haunted brain. My first ever dose of stimulant awaits me in the morning, I hope it will quieten said brain.

caught in an evil OCD spiral again. Going to try and not ruin every relationship I have or go hitchhiking til I find someone who will murder me.