if i could give advice to me as a teenager i would say be 25

i would say theres honestly nothing you can do

Gimme 1 margarita and I saw off my leg!

a girl who is a noir detective man and a guy who is a femme fatale

un-jaded and re-illusioned ex-nihilist

honestly unlike with murder its never ok to litter not even when the situation has complexities and nuances and mitigating factors

the most important part of blood loss is to have fun and be yourself

parents love giving you job hunting advice that's like Have you tried destroying and betraying yourself for nothing

together we can make this Hill House a Hill Home.

This is so funny. I’d kill all billionaires if it meant losing something precious to me

forgot my night time garlic bread in the oven for the length of 2 mythbusters wpisodes and when i opened the oven door it was so thoroughly cremated that i was blinded not by smoke and ash but what surely must have been its Soul as well

if cis people are so great then why don’t they have a siberian orchestra 

died and came back wrong and no one could tell the difference

a friend recently made an off the cuff joke about secondhand smoking. how she has to use her second hand because her first is occupied with pleasuring herself. im so mad. im so so mad its really good its so so good. im in deep awe and i wish i had thought of that. i wish i could do that