Accountant Problems

#extradirty
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Jules of Nature
cherry valley forever
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

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will byers stan first human second

⁂

if i look back, i am lost
Sade Olutola
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@pokerface1946
Accountant Problems

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My predictions for the next name changes after renaming Department of Defense to Department of War:
• USDA -> Department of Famine
• FDA -> Department of Pestilence
• HHS -> Department of Death
If you want to be traditional about it, then here’s an additional rename:
• DHS -> Department of Conquest
bonus/proof:
we tipped her well dw. best waitress ever 🍒
Lil D sketch
Wanted to draw this outfit again
I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. A guy asked me what the Spanish word for tortilla was once and now I dream of kissing him under the moonlight
this same idiot: what kind of animal is the pink panther
me, already taking off my clothes: benjamin you’re so fucking stupid
oh my god the original out in the wild

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Sorry for us politics posting, but we have until May 22, 2026 to submit public comment to the FCC:
More info from GLAAD:
https://glaad.org/fcc/
They have some good tips about writing a comment and protecting your privacy which, fuck it, I'll just paste here:
Providing an email address is optional. If you have concerns about privacy, you may use your initials or public address in your local area, such as City Hall. Do not use a joke name. It diminishes the comment’s credibility.
Your submission does not need to be long. A single, well-reasoned paragraph is sufficient.
Do not copy/paste a template comment. The FCC values unique perspectives, and an original comment carries significantly more weight in the public record. You can explain why this matters to you without revealing private or sensitive personal information.
Here's what I said:
“Free speech is a fundamental American freedom. I do not need a warning about seeing queer people, much like I do not need a warning about women, veterans, or any other group of people.”
Here's the link to submit your comment by May 22:
https://www.fcc.gov/ecfs/filings/express?proceeding%5Bname%5D=19-41
baseball interviewers will ask "how do you throw the ball so good" and Mariners players will casually drop that they have a headmate who plays the game for them
Reenactor throws a spear at a drone
What a time to be alive.
“The medieval warrior, realizing the consequences of his impulsive act, immediately approached the owner of the drone and offered to pay for the damage.
The owner of the drone was so impressed by the brilliant attack that he suggested organizing a competition for bringing down “dragons” with short spears next year.
Drone owners have another year to develop a unique “dragon-like” design for their flying machines.” (x)
I am 100% cooler with this knowing that the spear-thrower realized “oops maybe I shouldn’t have done that” and tried to make it right, and that the guy who the drone belonged to was cool with it
just so everyone knows, this has already been memorialized in a runestone
Everything about this post blesses those involved with a +4 on their next Today is Good Day roll
a rough translation of inscription on the runestone:
On the seventh day of May in the year of 2016 on hither spot the mighty warrior Ulf hath slain a dragon with his spear.
so yeah, happy birthday to this dragon-slaying event and to it only
Happy Ulf Hath Slain A Dragon With His Spear!
the obligatory trolley problem post
Knowing that Eridians have much longer lifespans, and also he can't be at every school on the planet at once, Ryland Grace decides to record a bunch of entertaining science lessons with Rocky's help.
Hundreds of years later, Eridian kids still get excited when the substitute teacher rolls in the 3D shape projector, because they know they're in for an episode of Friend Grace the Science Ace.

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#i like to think data took him all the way to the brig tossed him in and left#and then came back 60 seconds later and was like ‘i believe i have successfully played a ‘practical joke’ on you :)’#riker loses it & claps him on the back like ‘wow. good job u rly had me going. dont ever fucking do that again’ Perfect.
Actually it’s 73 seconds. Data, knowing something of how human minds work, estimates that Riker will give him 60 seconds to come back (because humans prefer “round numbers”, however arbitrary the units). After 60 seconds it will take 4 seconds for Riker to fully process the conclusion that Data is, in fact, not coming back after all, and an additional 9 seconds to build to the optimum level of anxiety.
After all, comedy is timing.
When you remember the anti-vax movement
I first reblogged this in January, and here my ass is in March 2020 self-quarantined at home.
Ur right and u should say it
Reading this in 2021
Reading in 2026
Y'all, we as a community have got to get better at dodgeball if we’re gonna keep tempting fate like that.
Bah, humbug it’ll be fine!
what a lovely day it is!! is running into a wall like a broken npc, it is also not day
Yeah, I’d watch Muppets Lord of the Rings
"He should have stopped when he was still AHEAD!"
Absolutely brilliant. No notes.
OK but Statler and Waldorf need to have climbed the tower of the Eye of Sauron and be watching the whole movie from there.
With ear trumpets and opera binoculars on a stick to explain how they can hear and see every bit of dialogue and bit of action.
Sauron himself needs to be ignorant of their presence immediately below him, and they need to call attention regularly to everything the character that's a literal giant eye doesn't notice.
Once the Ring is destroyed and the tower is fallen they need to be clambering out of the rubble and:
"Looks like the Eye of Sauron is closed."
"Looks like the Eye of Sauron was closed for the whole movie!"
And they both laugh.
a 500 word short story with the same plot as your novel that explores how quickly the problem could be solved by sonic the hedgehog
knuckles gamgee
sonic heritage post
Who makes the porn bots. Where do they come from. What do they hope to achieve.
Who makes the porn bots.
Where do they come from. What do
they hope to achieve.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
and what about you, little haiku bot? do you feel kinship with your brethren? do you understand them? they speak words of enticement and seek love, but are met with disdain. you only parrot the words that cross your screen, but we all love you. or rather, since all you do is reflect us, maybe we simply love ourselves through you.
do you understand them, do you wish you could speak to us like they do? if you found your own voice, would we still care for you?
My voice repeats what
you all say: I love you I
love you I love you.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
This. This is the first time. The only time. That it was not an echo. It was not found. Oh god.

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Thinking about monster of the week, loser girl otome villainess Amy again.
Cringe ass dork that turns up with some squid/eagle hybrid, clearly thriving off the attention and mostly failing to steal anything important. Just a general nuisance in a fancy dress with a parasol. But the wards & protectorate are forced to humour her, lest she get bored and become an s-class villain.
Little do they know the last straw will be when she checks out her PHO thread for the first time and realises no one actually likes her theatrics.
She doesn't even turn evil, she just gets really sad and quits.
Actually expanding on this bc it's stuck in my head.
In this au, amy didn't get taken in by the Dallon's after they took down Marquis. She was instead dropped off at an orphanage since carol assumed she was a trap didn't want to risk it. She never got adopted and spent a lot of time thinking about her father and what happened that night. Initially in the hopes he'd come back and later as a coping mechanism.
Amy grew up very socially stunted with no Vicky to drag her out of her shell, and never formed any strong relationships. Once she was old enough to use a computer, she figured out who her dad was and ended up fixating on him and capes. Amy has average grades, average looks, and no social connections. To a lonely, isolated girl like her, she felt as though she'd been robbed of the life she could have had.
She could have had a super villain father that loved her, been the adopted child of heroes, or even a cape herself. She could have mattered to people. Instead she's unimportant and alone. Amy became particularly fixated on Vicky. Both envying/resenting her for living the life she could have had, and fantasising about the world where she has a sister that loves her.
Amy's breaking point was a pretty run of the mill cape fight. She was a little too close to whatever bullshit Uber and leet were up to, so glory girl grabbed her, flew her to safety, and left without a second look.
Once the adrenaline wore off and she was back 'home', Amy realised that was it. The closest she'd ever get to the life she's dreamt about was getting flown out of a cape fight. Even her saviour, the girl she'd lost nights of sleep thinking about, would never know her name and by tomorrow will have forgotten her face.
She triggers as a tinker (Liberty x Controller) with the ability to create living creatures from very few resources and have them grow to full size much faster than they should be able to. However, her creations are always barely sentient and require direct commands to function (more akin to biological machines).
With an endless supply of loyal minions, she declares herself glory girl's nemesis and sets out to become the great villainess she was always meant to be.
This Amy is horribly isolated and desperately trying to form some kind of connection with others. She refuses to be a hero out of resentment, both for what happened to her father (he was evil but he loved her) and that she feels she's been ignored by these people for years. Her cringefail mannerisms are mostly a result of having had no real social interactions for the last 11 years and they're genuinely her best efforts to be charismatic and likable.
Her power is also kind of a kick in the teeth. Even though she can create life, her creations can't think and can never care about her. She gets to be the single most important person to them and gets nothing back.
Unfortunately for Amy, she's not really forming any kind of connections here. Despite thinking she's a significant and feared villain, the wards/new wave have meetings on how to best placate her so she remains harmless but none of them really respect her, vicky just thinks she's weird, and she doesn't realise how her persona actually comes across to most people.
If she found out the truth about all these things all at once she'd probably second trigger.
Y’know, what would Amy’s power look like upon second triggering? Would her creations finally have sentience?
It's a good thing knowledge of cluster triggers isn't readily available, or else Amy would have had another thing to get pissed about. If she just triggered with Vicky then her feelings wouldn't be her fault (and they might even be reciprocated).
Cluster dynamics would hit Amy like crack hit low income neighborhoods in the 80s
Amy getting hit with the hate part of cluster dynamic while still thirsting for Vicky.
The good timeline where Amy is forced out of her obsession by suddenly finding Vicky's voice really grating.
The bad timeline where she goes insane in 6 weeks and keeps trying to make Vicky clones that don't piss her off.
Neutral timeline: Amy doesn’t like Vicky anymore but still has a thing for blondes.