carving/craving

if you love downloading pdfs you are likely to never use again you have GOT to get into knitting

if you like opening tabs and downloading files. by god is ravelry the website for you

jason todd aka american sasuke

candy before beer youre in the clear. beer before candy hurricane sandy

you just doordashed yourself a knuckle sandwich pal

Having ADHD is so fun because sometimes youre looking for something that you use regularly and definitely put away in a smart and reasonable place and you have absolutely 0 hope of remembering where and finding it. And then other times ur like "hmm I need a some kind of small pointed object. I feel like i remember seeing a paperclip under the left couch cushion a month ago, i wonder if its still there" and it is

"wait but if u saw the paperclip why would u just leave it there?" its the adhd. Also if i had put it away then i wouldnt have been able to find it a month later when i needed it. So. Checkmate neurotypicals.

John Lennon should have imagined some hoes.

"accessory not supported on this device" yes it is you stupid slut. thats headphones. you've known each other for years

normally if you want the dave matthews band to dump 800lbs of shit on you you'd have to buy a concert ticket

Happy 20 years since the Dave Matthews Band Chicago River incident!

two decades of poop river ....

being at work while your personal life is falling apart has to be among the top 3 worst human experiences. You’re at your absolute lowest and someone wants to circle back on an email…… unreal