౨ৎ sysblog ౨ৎ

If you experience any changes in body control (switching, possession, etc.), then establish some form of consistent, asynchronous external communication with your system. External communication has a major benefit: you can still talk to each other across switches (asynchronously) even if the inside of your mind is a mess.

You might set up a journal, whiteboard, calendar, a "single user, multi-account" app like Mytter or Antar, sticky notes, etc. Anything goes as long as your system knows to check it occasionally (or at the least, in an emergency).

We recommend choosing an analog method for your fallback communication method if possible, as a power outage could take out a lot of digital methods. A spur-of-the-moment piece of paper left on a table is better than nothing, but it's less likely to work than a pocket notebook or bulletin board that every system member knows to use for communication if needed. You can always add an app or program once everyone knows where to go for your analog fallback.

Discuss how you want to treat each other. Keep it loose and informal for now- don't make any absolute Laws just yet. Think of it more like the quick agreements that roommates make with each other for practical reasons: "I'll do the dishes if you do the laundry".

A few classics: "try not to die, don't kill anyone else, don't get any tattoos as an impulse decision, and don't throw out things that don't belong to you."

Don't force agreements on anyone. If someone disagrees, then stop and discuss their concerns to find a better agreement. See: Consensus Decision Making.

Map your system, if it feels right. This can help you learn about each other, but it can also be soothing to feel like you have some understanding of who's in your head when you're being flooded with new system members.

Again, keep it simple. What do you actually need to know? What would help you in a practical sense? Start there, then branch out if you'd like to get to know each other better.

Consider making a simple guide to your life. If someone had to handle a day in your life with little to no prior knowledge of it, then what would they need to know?

Where should they check to see if you have any appointments? Are they responsible for feeding any pets? Where can they find money if they need it, and how do they know how much to spend? Do you have a job, and do they need to work it? Etc.

Hopefully you never need this guide, but it's a lifesaver for any unexpectedly amnesiac system members.

Most lifelong singlets do not know the suffering that comes from people saying "I think you're [this other person] instead."

And this is not me saying that people denying *parts* of singlets (your disability, race, sex, gender identity, orientation, etc) isn't traumatic and horrible. It is. You don't deserve to have ANY part of you denied.

But to have someone genuinely think you are nothing. Genuinely, unironically think you *entirely* don't exist. That you are merely roleplay or imagination. That there is only one person in the body, and that it's *not you.*

That is something lifelong singlets usually do not experience.

I don't get how plurals can do that to other plurals. I don't get how you can say "Actually you don't exist. You are literally fake" when that's exactly how singlets treat you. And I don't understand how you can call that "discourse" instead of what it actually is - cruelty beyond measures. Erasure beyond measures.

I will not and cannot EVER be around someone who simply humors me as a "concept" or a "game" rather than an actual fucking existing being. Never.

-Marco (she/he), a headmate in a endotrauma system with diagnosed DID.

Gender and sexuality is weird. Telling ftm lesbians to "identify as nonbinary" is weird. Some people just aren't nonbinary, they're ftm and lesbians. Who are you to tell someone how they experience their gender and sexuality?

I love willogenic systems!

I love bombgenic systems!

I love addgenic systems!

I love disordered systems!