Starrypaws

I'd like to take an educational approach to this post, so we can all hopefully learn from Skizz' disrespectful comment.

It's impossible for any of us to fully understand what it's like to live with Scar's numerous disabilities and complex health conditions. We will (hopefully) never know what we would do if we were in his position, but our inability to grasp that reality often leads to the conclusion that we wouldn't be able to "overcome" everything he's been through.

This is often the case when hearing the stories and experiences of people with disabilities, and it typically results in them being reduced to a source of "inspiration" for able-bodied people. In the sense of: "If they can get through all those hardships, I can get through whatever struggles I'm going through!"

This is called "inspiration p*rn" or "disability p*rn" and it's unfortunately very pervasive in our culture today, especially on social media.

[source: bezzymigrane.com] Our struggles serve as lessons in resilience, reducing us to simplified “inspiration” for those who will never live our reality. People gawk at our hardships with solicited sympathy, saying, “I’m glad that isn’t me.” “Stella Young described inspiration p*rn as the way society turns disabled people into motivational stories just for existing,” explains Ehab Youssef, a licensed clinical psychologist at Mentalyc. “It’s when someone says, ‘If they can do it, what’s your excuse?’ or shares a feel-good video of a disabled person doing something ‘normal’ as if that alone is extraordinary."

Scar has responded to "compliments" about being "strong" or "inspirational" before by expressing that, "A lot of people don't know know what they're fully capable of until they're in that kind of situation," and "The human spirit is a powerful thing when pushed to its limits." (paraphrasing based on quotes I remember) Which is the most polite and tactful way to dismiss ableist remarks that I've ever seen.

Some people reading this may think, "But Scar is inspirational for having such positive attitude about his disabilities! He's so optimistic despite going through so many awful things, and that's admirable!" But that's another harmful idea rooted in internalized ableism.

[source: bezzymigrane.com] “Inspiration p*rn sometimes promotes the idea that disabled people can, and should, always have a positive attitude and outlook about their situation or communicate things in an uplifting way," adds psychotherapist and clinical consultant Steph Fowler. ...This mindset pressures disabled people to always be exceptional. “People in the disabled person’s life may not recognize inspiration p*rn as harmful, and may perpetuate these ideas by suggesting the person needs to try harder, practice gratitude, or have a better attitude about their experience,” Fowler says. We can be inspiring and sick or disabled, but dehumanizing us by suggesting that we are somehow more worthy if we have a positive attitude that inspires nondisabled people holds us all back.

I believe Skizz' statement about Scar's "strength" is rooted in this ideology.

Which brings me back to his quote- where he implies that if anyone has had a reason to sink into depression and end their own life, it's Scar.

I cannot express how inappropriate and outright disrespectful this assertion is. Scar has mentioned once or twice before that when he initially got sick, he struggled with depression for a long time, but that's all he's said on the subject. Skizz is assuming a lot about what Scar went through (and what Scar is comfortable sharing about himself publicly) by making such a bold, careless remark like this.

Implying that anyone would "have a reason to" end their own life is beyond disrespectful in any context, but it's far worse when said to a person with disabilities... and on a live stream at that.

[source: goodmenproject.com] People with disabilities are just like everybody else. They’re complex and sometimes flawed. They hide insecurities and struggles and inner demons that they might not want the outside world to see. We are not perfect, angelic human beings by virtue of having a disability. Life just doesn’t work that way, and you can’t pigeonhole us as brave or permanently optimistic or whatever innocuous stereotype helps you process our disabilities better.

Scar is not strong for wanting to live despite the challenges his health and disabilities bring. Scar is not inspirational because of how much he's gone through and how he's remained optimistic throughout it all.

Scar is inspirational because he's an incredible artist, a delightful entertainer, and a wonderful human being.

He's always teaching others about his building and design methods and encouraging people to step out of their comfort zone and try new things.

Multiple hermits have said that Scar is wonderful to work with, and the only hermit they've never once had any conflict with personally or professionally.

You don't need to look to Scar's disabilities to find "inspiration," Scar is an awe-inspiring person just by nature of who he is at heart.

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I'd like to conclude with some advice on how to recognize and prevent the spread of disability p*rn, so hopefully we can come away from this post having learned something valuable.