uh, howdy?

im 17 now only one year left til i make this post guys

oh my god I cannot breathe

I literally choked at the end.

i’m in tears rn this is the funniest thing i’ve seen all year

What’s up with the fairly recent trend of leap years all being bad fucking years like 2008? Shit. 2012? Fucking shit. 2016? Absolute fucking shit. I’m just gonna predict 2020 is gonna be the Most Absolute Stinky Piece of Shit year to date

Date of Origin: July 3, 2018

thinking about how milk jugs are so perfectly designed; not a bit of wasted space. the handle is part of the container as well and you can clearly see how much of the liquid is left. genius. im thinking of eating the mushroom growing in my frontyard whole. if even one person is nice to me today i will kiss them on the lips

So is anybody else going to the Lil Nas X concert on roblox? 

Holy shit

me: look at this idiot dog he’s got a chair stuck on h-HOLY FUCK

this is actually balloons don’t let them trick you

i think i will become a creature.

*scuttles*

sometimes ‘brb’ stands for ‘be ready bitch’ so you have to be careful