GOODNIGHT mr.coconut

in bed with the lights off at 7:40pm big as fuck glass of ice water i don't care what happens to anyone or anything bye

the thing about piracy is that i know i deserve everything for free forever

pop health science is so annoying bc it'll be like "did you know? eating strawberries will give you mega cancer" and you're like pfft whatever begone influencer. but sometimes then you'll see a reasonably credible article like "Study Shows Possible Link Between Strawberries and Mega Cancer" and you're not usually the type to follow that kind of thing religiously but idk maybe you should consider not eating strawberries? but then there's another article saying "Strawberry/Mega Cancer Study Debunked" and it turns out the original study had a sample size of 3 and was funded by Big Blueberry, and strawberries may have a small connection to mega cancer but only if you are genetically predisposed to mega cancer and eat 50 strawberries every day. so you return to your strawberry eating life. but whenever you eat strawberries in public someone tells you about the mega cancer.

furiously searching online "what do animals do out in a rainstorm" while it's raining

nobody worry too much because they all produce various oils and have different densities of fur to keep them dry and warm as well as seek out shelter under thick vegetation

I thought we were good as gravy, but you just wanted to get your pey wet

my dead wife. the ad free internet

watching dreamily recorded footage of a web forum from 2003

I actually gave birth to Yoshi but it's not a big deal

One day I will be your early 30s mutual. Take my hand and come with me

im realizing very fast that people do not in fact know that sometimes things in stories suck on purpose and it sucking is the point

let’s all quit our jobs and just go on walks

the idea of going to the movies alone being like sad and pathetic is crazy to me like thats barely a social event to me. If you try to talk to me during a movie at the movies I will kill you.

every time i watch some piece of media about how abused children need to put in the work to understand their poor put upon parents i think about the scene in the asoue netflix show where klaus is told his shitty boss had a terrible childhood and says "i'm having a very terrible childhood right now". like damn gottem pack it up we can stop doing this narrative in film and literature now