yikEs

*takes a free sample twice* i love robbery and fraud

when people ask me what i want to do with my life i’m like. i wanna wear an ugly expensive coat to go grocery shopping at lidl… and uhh take a bath with someone who loves me… write a children’s book that my lover illustrates…. be an extra in an a24 movie starring robert pattinson… be kissed on the eyelids…. blow on a spoonful of soup before eating it… own a pair of shiny patent leather loafers… thanks so much <3

"Weird energy in here today" I say, referring to the inside of my brain.

it worries me so much that there’s been this (mostly unintentional) culture built up around coming out, to where young lgbt kids are putting themselves in danger at school and at home because they don’t want to “live a lie.” i just want to say, i came out when i was 15 and it created a lot of difficulties in my life that i could have avoided by waiting until i was older. it isolated me socially, it exposed me to homophobia from my parents, my family, my teachers, and my classmates at the most important developmental stages of my own confidence and sense of self… closeted people are not living a lie. closeted people are surviving. don’t let anyone pressure you to come out before you’re ready. don’t put yourself at risk when you don’t have to.

Girls are hot, full homo

Sir please thats my emotional support stack of books that i havent read

i think cyclists are so funny with their little outfits and their little sunglasses and the way they travel in packs like the anchovies from spongebob 

Me? Personally? Yeah I would let a vampire completely drain me on a casual Tuesday night but hey that’s just me. If they wanted to make me their immortal companion I wouldn’t complain either.

Awwwww

I am on the verge of tears please watch this

if you set a bowl of fresh berries in front of me i will start eating and will not stop. hundreds of millions of years of evolutionary instinct has already taken over my brain and the ghosts of 500 generations of my hunter-gatherer ancestors are all screaming and sobbing with joy at the sight