tHERE ARE MEMES IN THOSE HIEROGLYPHICS

there is unfortunately no way to magically tell the difference between a Truly Pure Good Human Being and a Secret Evil Monster by watching their like, polygon videos or whatever. there is no unifying surface level aesthetic trait that will immediately and accurately flag a person who appears 'wholesome' as Actually Very Good For Real and Actually Very Bad and anyone who tells you otherwise is lying to you

The teenager at my job is so funny, she jokingly asked how my break was after I came back from the bathroom and after I said "can't a bitch change their pad in peace?" She said "a real nine to fiver would get a hysterectomy." There was no hesitation, no gap between what I said and what she said

“i don’t block people just because of a difference of opinion” cool i do

this is a space where you can go “bestie you’re not on my enrichment team” and then throw them out of the window of your life without hesitation

ryan "I believe in ghosts but please do not show up or I'll actually die" bergara and shane "I don't believe in ghosts but I want them to show themselves and kill me" madej

my favorite childhood memory is having energy

Noooo don't seal my soul into a shiny purple gem to save the world from my evil you're so sexy haha

I love everything about every single one of these

i be like “damn i got a lot of shit to do” and then go lay down for 17 hours

hey icarus bro wanna order some hot wings-oh my god im so fucking sorry dude