Daimon, Tokyo.

For all those who wander and are still lost, trust me, you’re not the only ones. I mean look at me… writing to you all trying to come up with some deep-rooted issue like one of “those”, trying to look like I’m some kind of Plato or Socrates, trying to uncover an unfathomed deep-rooted issue. I mean there’s also the fact that you might just be lost and that’s totally okay. I can sit here and sell you on some bullshit like take some yoga or meditate maybe listen to some Gary Vee or Tony Robbins and take life by the balls and say “fuck it” I mean that might work for some of you and if that’s the case kudos to you.

I’m talking about the ones whom are unhappy, lost and the ones whom have lost their passion for what they used to once love doing. “Hi, hello, how are ya? (Jeffree Star I love you) Coming at you live from the mind of a 25-year-old who thought she had it all together. Thinking that she could win one over on life. Or breaking the algorithm of Instagram and TikTok becoming semi famous with one liners or model-esque photos.

Can I be honest with you? NO ONE and I really mean NO ONE has their life together. If you’re looking at Facebook photos or Instagram pictures of your friends, acquaintances, content creators, photographers or models or anyone else you’ve come across anywhere and everywhere… I can almost GUARANTEE you that they were once in your same position. I mean let me be honest, the “grass isn’t always greener on the other side” and I can guarantee it.

Trust me I’ve been in your position, scrolling through Facebook and Instagram, wondering why this ones in Bora Bora or that one just graduated, this one’s constantly out on the town, as I sit here, a college dropout with very little patience, a mickey mouse job and very little will to push myself to do anything at this point. THE INTERNET IS SATAN, trust me.

If that’s how you really feel, then you’ve all come to right place. I mean, college? What a waste of time & well-earned money (in my opinion). The fact that you manage to graduate to become something and then come out into the real world trying to procure a job and getting no where because they want 30 years’ experience. Damn, maybe I should have studied a little more in the womb.

For those who came out of college and graduated and secured a job right after, I commend you. For those of us who are still out there trying to figure out what we want in life I’m right there with you. Let’s start off with this, if you’re constantly trying to compare yourself to the people on your social media you should delete it, or better yet, block them or just block their posts. Stop comparing yourself to everyone else. Everyone is on a different path and hey, I’m still on it as well.

Stop trying and start “living” whatever that means to you. Learn to cope with who you are and then maybe you’ll figure out what you want right? I never thought I’d end up in this position or at this time of my life. I look at my parents who were married at 22 had my brother and I and ate shit and got to where they are now. I shouldn’t complain, but I constantly try to compare myself to them and to everyone around me. Thinking why this is not happening for me and what’s wrong with me?

The fact that I’m sitting in my parent’s kitchen, in NYC a single 25 year old with very little aspirations, but big dreams to travel the world with the very little money I have, but keep spending. The fact that I’m 25 and have only had 4 dates in my whole life and seeing on social media your classmates getting married, engaged, buying a house, babies and traveling… Like I said INTERNET = SATAN. We’re all in a constant state of comparing. We’re also in a generation where men & woman barely want relationships or search for love or that we don’t know what we want. All I know is, I want to know the direction I’m going in.

Alright enough about me and on to the real reason I’m writing this…. I’m here to tell you all that you’re not alone. I’m still on this crazy journey and taking it day by day, trying to figure out what I really want, why am I in this place and who am I going to end up with? And where and when is this going to happen. See what I did there? Thanks to my English teachers for teaching me the 5 W’s in my life.

BUT and I know you’re not supposed to start off a sentence with but, but here I am. We really only use one W.. Why, why not this, why not that, why not me? It’s not why guys, it’s how! How can I better myself and bring myself to where I want to be in life? Yeah, I get it, It’s FUCKING difficult. WHY do I hate my job, why didn’t I stick to school, why BLAH BLAH BLAH. Why and how go hand in hand with one another, kind of like peanut butter and jelly, but I’m not a fan of PB&J so….

As you can tell from all this, my mind is all over the place, I’m all over the place, but I’m very well organized, thanks mom. How about we, yes I mean WE try to work through this. Try to figure out what it is that we really want and if that means taking a break from the internet -GASP- yes I really mean. Enough of me joking around about how it is SATAN… Statistics show and yeah, I’m pulling in the statistics card, that the internet = depression.

You heard it here first folks, the internet although very insightful is lethal. I can sit here till I’m blue in the face and tell you to stop comparing, but I know neither you nor I can stop it. I forgot where I was going with this whole thing, but I just want you all to know that you’re not alone and I’m here along for the ride as well. I don’t know where the hell it’s going to take me or us, but I hope it’s great and I hope I’m happy with the outcome.