akechi goro's tormentous nightmare

c'mon, don't you want to be a good girl? it'd feel soooo good to fall to corruption, don't you think? you want that right? to feel each and every part of you indelibly stained by her touch? it's so easy. all you have to do is let her hit you with another 1/1 phyrexian mite. can you be a good girl and declare no blockers for her now?

one time a guy friend told me he was quitting league of legends and literally two weeks later she was on estrogen. these events are intrinsically connected in my mind.

There is still time [to stop playing league of legends]

i wonder how many they'll need

i hesitate even to speculate

Do you ever write a sentence and then realize “Nah, that’s too self aware for you” and backspace a bunch of times.

i need to age regress to 18 and do a bachelors degree correctly this time and get a million dollar job the moment i graduate and make 2000 friends who all love and worship me and find the artifact and defeat the evil mastermind and slay the ape

that one screenshot of anthony bourdain taking valium on a plane and tweeting about applejack being a lesbian belongs in the louvre

Folks around here took to calling the skyscrapers of the finance district the headstones, because if you find yourself at the bottom you're as good as dead. I leered up at them and they did nothing back. I knew three things about her. She was a brunette, she was dead, and I was the only person in the world that had to care. It had the window dressing of a crime of passion, but was too blunt and loveless in its execthe snail. Shit. The snail is here. Fuck. Where are my car keys. The snail. The snail. Shit. The snail.

looks thru a glory hole & sees a train coming straight towards me

I….excuse me???

if a boy did this to me i would literaly-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y

me when IYYYYYYA!