mayonnaise

you know I never put it together that he built his platform on draining the swamp and then like went and made a swamp and now refuses to drain it

i just rescued a pill bug they’re gonna reward me with a million pill bucks i’m gonna be a fucking pillionaire

💵🫲}([[[[[)

I JUST MADE ONE PILLION DOLLARS

i really love how you can tell how much happier she is

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

World Heritage Post

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

It’s too hot to give a fuck that the prime minister resigned…again

This is almost better than finding out new info through the supernatural meme

these were the most refreshing and delicious exilirs one could acquire in the 2000s

how did a woman manage to date elvira for 19 years and not tell every single person she knows

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