i love turning off lights. no need for all that

The American century of humiliation is goin great 👍

The thing that’s amazing about taylor swift fans is they think she’s the most calculated person alive and her breathing pattern is Morse code and there’s hidden meanings in the way each strand of hair on her head falls and nothing is ever unintentional up until she’s hanging out with maga guys with rape accusations and then it’s like umm she probably doesn’t even know who they are how is she supposed to know who she’s associating with she’s just a little birthday girl you can’t be mad at her she doesn’t even know how to read

god dammit, just battled an ancient evil too powerful to defeat alongside my heroic allies and now they're all talking about "locking it away" and "binding it in a vessel" we are soooooo fucked

the party mage just brought up the idea of each one of us taking a part of the sealing artifact to prevent them from being reunited again and releasing the evil, no way these dumb assholes aren't getting corrupted 🤦

okay so after a little time bonding with my shard of the blackstar, I've decided that 1) this was actually a pretty good idea and 2) all the armies of the earth must tremble before me

We got a random spike supposed to fall from thin air out of the sky onto you and instantly kill you scheduled for tonight Please be standing outside by 8pm

remember that tinned fish reverses the cancer causing properties of cigarettes, cigarettes cure the mental illnesses that drinking produces and drinking flushes the excess salts tinned fish causes to build up in your body. this is the food pyramid.