Pointless LOTR headcanon of the day: Frodo & Merry both take after their mothers, meaning Frodo looks more like a Brandybuck than a Baggins and Merry looks more like a Took. This is a constant source of petty contention.
(Pippin meanwhile absolutely takes after his father & is the most Tookish looking)
Merry: call me a Took one more time
Gandalf: if it looks like a Took and acts like a Took itâs a Took
Merry: I will END you
Gandalf is the only nonhobbit in the fellowship who understands the minutiae of Took Vs Brandybuck Vs Baggins rivalry & he delights in it, everyone else baffled
Frodo: look itâs perfectly simple. The Brandybucks donât like the Tooks because they play golf and think theyâre better than everyone because they occasionally go on adventures. The Tooks donât like the Brandybucks because they live on the wrong side of the river and like boats. And nobody likes the Bagginses because theyâre annoying.
Aragorn: are you⌠Including yourself in that
Frodo: I said what I said.
Frodo: now the Bagginses donât like the Brandybucks OR the Tooks because theyâre highly disrepectable but also richer than they are. And as far as a lot of the Bagginses are concerned Iâm a Brandybuck because I grew up in Buckland and I have the Brandybuck Profile
Merry: which just means heâs not pug-ugly
Frodo: quite.
Aragorn: this is all ridiculous. Keep going.
Gandalf: Hm now I wouldnât say UGLY but⌠every Baggins Iâve ever met has been perfectly Round or perfectly Square⌠There is no middle ground.
Gimli, baffled: Frodo isnât round OR square
Merry: thatâs because he has the Brandybuck profile
Gimli: so⌠Is he a BrandybuckâŚ
Merry: ABSOLUTE not
Frodo: slander!! Iâm a Baggins how dare you
Pippin: was your father a Round Baggins or a Square Baggins
Frodo: my father⌠Was the ROUNDEST Baggins who ever lived⌠A perfect Sphere of hobbitâŚ
