man sometimes friendship really is just "I saw this and knew it would give you psychic damage. please respond with agony" and then they do. and it's great

they injected me with mental illness when i was a baby because they didn't like that i radiated moonlight and had stars inside my eyes. they were jealous of me.

Dead wife but it's a flashback to an amazing sandwich you had 3 years ago

today i just (remembers to maintain privacy online) did something really cool. you have to trust me

the problem with parents is that they are undiagnosed

i'm the first depressed person to be lazy for real

media trope that makes me want to throw up and cry is when a character realises there's no way they're making it out of a situation in one piece. and in a single moment they accept it and turn to their distraught loved ones with The Smile. you know The Smile. sickening

so funny when a girl on social media posts ragebait satire and people think it’s for real and then when someone points out it’s a joke then people are like “[website] users when a woman tells a joke” and like i agree that sometimes people are quicker to take a woman as incompetent rather than joking but it’s also like. people online don’t really get satire in general, yes even when men do it. that’s kind of the nature of satire — a decent chunk of the audience won’t realize it’s satire and will take it seriously until it’s explained. that’s just kind of how that kind of humor works and it’s ok it isn’t always due to the gender of the comedian

I like this meme because the stock photos make it seem like the same woman but 10 years older.

In your 20s, you'll feel like you're losing the race. It's important to understand that there is no race.

ⓘ Tip If you feel unfulfilled by how you spent your time today, you can stay up late to try to combat the sense of dissatisfaction. This will ensure that you feel even worse tomorrow.