shark vs the universe
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@katinacrisis
Shane shouting "davai!" along with his normal "let's go!" at Ilya on the ice when he scores a goal or gets an assist with the widest fucking Canadian diphthong made even worse by his huge fucking goofy grin
Ilya: :D :D :D :D Hollanderrrrrrr *epic helmet headbutt to end all helmet headbutts*
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shane hollander doing a bunch of anti smoking billboards for city of montreal that ilya loves to send a photo of himself in front of with a lit cigarette between his lips every time hes in town
thinking about shane waiting really patiently to say a joke he came up with in his head and he thinks it’s such a good one and he’s really excited to say it. he attempts to really nonchalantly drop it in but there isn’t a good spot to until finally he gets his perfect set up and says it and everyone laughs and he’s just sitting back, so pleased like 🙂 thinking ‘good job, shane’
Forever of the strong belief that YES, Neil can and DOES borrow Andrew’s hoodies and his jerseys but that Andrew physically CANNOT do the same with Neil’s because that boy is #thick and big and strong and if he TRIED to put on one of the #10 jackets/jerseys, it would split down the middle and has. & Neil LIKES that image but Andrew doesn’t go for it anymore because he entertained Neil TOO MUCH at the start and now Wymack refuses to get Neil any new PSU clothing if he Andrew rips any more
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Allison discovers that she and Neil have the same eye shape, so every time she wants to experiment with a new eyeshadow palette or dramatic wing, she tries it on Neil first while filling him in on every piece of gossip she’s collected over the past few days. Neil always walks back into their room sporting yet another colorful look, only to be met with one of Andrew’s skeptical raised eyebrows. “How do I look?” Neil asks. “Like a pony threw up on your face.” Neil only smiles, shuffling closer to Andrew, deliberately holding his gaze as those brown eyes inevitably drift upward to inspect the glitter dusted across his eyelids. “I think you like it.” “Thinking isn’t your strong suit,” Andrew replies before hooking a hand around the back of Neil’s neck, pulling him in just to shut him up with a kiss.
Rocky meets some animals from earth 🌍🌻
i think i've posted this before, but ilya truly does deserve an award for his patience after getting woken up at fuck o'clock at the cottage for a five year plan strategy session when he was in the middle of a rem cycle.
like the way he asked "what is nur-ate-iv?" makes me think man TRULY was not catching all of the words getting tossed at him so fast the second his eyes were even a LITTLE open. like he wasn't asking "what story did you come up with?" he's asking "what word are you even saying to me right now?" man got like 0.2 seconds to be like "oh i'm awake now?" before he was getting PELTED with english because shane had a forty step plan that couldn't wait like. three more hours.
i would have hit him with a pillow and said let's circle back, so kudos to ilya.
this does make me think that if they have kids, ilya is going to be the default parent getting woken up for "i frew up"
in my heart, shane sleeps like a ROCK and is also non-functional if his sleep schedule is disrupted
so papa is the one getting little hands patting at his face at 3 am because his sleep isn't safe from daddy OR the kids
this also does mean that shane rarely wakes up in a bed with the same number of people it had when he fell asleep
either ilya is completely mia because he went to lay down with whatever kiddo came to get him and then fell asleep in their bed without meaning to, or shane wakes up to little feet pushing into his kidney or a little fist tucked under his arm or a kiddo sprawled sideways over him AND ilya in a way that canNOT be comfortable
shane always handles getting everyone put together and fed breakfast, but the first step of every morning routine is just a headcount to find out where everyone ended up overnight
@zouisalmightie
@shakespearerants
Ilya has always enjoyed baiting other teams into penalties. In fact, it's one of his favourite things about hockey. He's made it into a fucking art form. He has a long mental list of exactly what gets under other players' skin and relishes finding new and creative ways to frame their petty insecurities or asshole nature (crucially, he is not airing people's trauma, he's chirping them about their receding hairline and DUI). But after Shane joins the Centaurs, he starts going fucking wild with it. People thought he was bad before? Just you fucking wait. When the reward for getting a penalty out of someone else is that he finally gets to share the ice with his husband??? Oh, shit's about to go down.
Wiebe would love to be able to claim this had been a deliberate strategy when he decided to put Shane and Ilya on separate lines but have them go out as a unit on the power play but that's simply not true. It was just an unexpected but fortunate byproduct of that.
This does mean Ottawa has an abnormally high number of penalties against them when compared to other teams. All because Ilya Rozanov loves nothing more than getting to play hockey with his husband and is incredibly sly with it, mostly managing to avoid getting pegged as the instigator.
professional shit starter not finisher
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grace after finding ilyukhina's hidden bag of vodka and lipstick
(Author Art: Lillapllas]___[app: Telegram)
Bunnies exchanging affection is so cute!>;3
Rocky chose a hand to match Grace's scar!
staying silly is all i got left like i got no money no prospects i’m a burden to my parents and i’m frightened
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neil is an unreliable narrator because everything gets filtered through his exy obsession and warped by his life experiences, jean is an unreliable narrator because he lies to himself and also is just wrong sometimes, jeremy is an unreliable narrator because he never tells us what he thinks or feels about anything. we haven’t gotten kevin’s pov yet but he will be an unreliable narrator for all these reasons and more
There is a photo deep in the Centaurs media reel archives from a community day thing where baby Shane (7) is running away from Chuck the Beaver and being “protected” by the then-Captain of the Centaurs.
Harris finds it while combing through the archives for fun comparisons to the current team.
Instantly posts it with a picture of Ilya pulling Shane away from a fight single handed, and with the photo from Shane and Scott’s post-game fight when he was a Metro.
“It only takes one Ottawa Centaur to keep national treasure Shane Hollander safe. How many Metros does it take to stop gay on gay crime???”
