want to reach the peak of love

it happens in this episode too because charlie goes back home and then out looking for babe in order to reconcile. he wants to see him but after encountering willy and overhearing tony’s plans he puts distance between them again. he doesn’t want to risk babe and everyone else so he takes it upon himself to walk away even though babe needs his support.

alan and jeff both advise babe to give charlie space and let him cool down, but babe steadfastly ignores them to chase after him and this is the result. their emotions are running high and this conversation is like watching a car crash, seeing them slowly collide and hurt each other even more.

it's a reversal of roles because up to this point babe has primarily been on the receiving end of betrayal and violation. his father abandoned him even if he later found out that he was coerced into it, tony raised him as a prize pig to breed and sell with his abusive training, and way, his best friend, lied to and manipulated him for 10 years and then tried to assault him. this is the reason babe is so suspicious of willy and why he came up with such a reckless plan to find out if willy is a threat to them. even in babe and charlie's relationship, charlie has betrayed babe's trust more. he lied about his relationship with jeff, hid that he was another one of tony's children, lied about his special ability and that he was the reason babe lost his senses, and faked his death. charlie had reasons for doing those things which were usually about protecting babe, but this time babe is in the wrong. for once he is desperate due to his own choices (mostly) and not what others have done to him.

he's not used to this and doesn't know how to handle it. babe understands rationally that he fucked up and charlie has a right to be mad, but he can't accept it. it's why he keeps stressing his reasons for getting close to willy instead of apologizing. you can see alan and charlie get visibly frustrated when he says "I swear I didn't mean to do any of that" because he's deflecting and still doesn't seem to get it.

babe feels guilt, shame, and regret, but he still tries to justify what he did and sees charlie's reaction as disproportionate because he didn't actually cheat on him. he understands that charlie is upset but not to the point of leaving home without a word. all of this frustration rouses the stress and loneliness babe's been feeling in their relationship and he throws it back in charlie's face. 'yeah I fucked up but you've been hurting me too and I haven't said anything about it so it's unfair that you're treating me like this now when what I did wasn't even that bad.' and of course charlie has been struggling with insecurity since willy showed up and started flirting with babe. he's unsure if he deserves to be with babe and he's spending so much time in the lab to protect them from tony and anyone else who wants to take advantage of their senses, but also to prove his worth. charlie's always been protective to the point of overstepping and even though they're together now he still feels like he has to earn his place.