gasping for air and clarity

A simple step-by-step process of my coloring by request ~

Pain scale? More like pain in the booty. No two people seem to read it the same way, and chronic folks tend to downplay their pain.

So here’s an idea: when asked to rate your pain, provide a number to rate your distress levels in addition to your pain levels.

Some examples:

“I’m at a 5 on the pain scale, but my distress is basically a 1 because this is my usual.”

“I’m at a 3 on the pain scale, but my distress is a 7 because this is new pain and affects a part of my body that’s very important to my work.”

And because of our shitty fucking capitalistic society, this thought process is ENCOURAGED.

how dare we even think that we deserve to not be in constant pain? How dare we say “I can’t today” when it’s just the same as it was yesterday and we could do it then?

I don't like this feeling... Mixed states are not fun to be in at the moment. I am up and down at the same time and it is such a rollercoaster of emotions. I have been bursting in tears and I can't explain why. I am happy and smiling one second and then wanting to fight it or hide in my closet. I know I am way too much in my head and that is a big problem. I want to be felt and understand and yet not finding the right words to express it. I feel like my family just tolerate me when that is not the case at all. When will I feel normal again?! Yet what is normal for me?! I can admit there is no balance in my life at the moment and I know that plays a part in why I have these ups and downs so much. My lack of sleep doesn't help as well. I don't want to see myself as crazy but that's how I feel. My daily battle with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome doesn't make it much better. I was doing well earlier and then as soon as I sat down to eat my lunch, I start vomiting out of nowhere and without any warning! EDS being such a complicated disease makes me feel even more depressed and complicated. I am grateful to be back in therapy and I truly appreciate my psychiatrist for going above and beyond to help me. I just want to be balance again and stable. I feel so unstable with everything in my life. I haven't been able to finish projects except for being here on this blog. So I have dedicate this time and social media outlet to really express how I feel. I know that I am not alone and I know just sharing my state of mind at this time could be saving a life. I am committed to using this platform to really bring more awareness not just to EDS but to mental health and how we can change the stigma. I know the change starts with me. So as I am in the mixed state with bipolar disorder/depression, I am learning to be gentle with myself and say "It is ok to not be ok!" Keep fighting!!

For example, here's a list of stuff Norse Heathenry doesn't have:

Holy books or scripture

Religious doctrines, dogmas, or taboos

Dualism (good vs. evil, us vs. them, etc.)

Separation of sacred and profane

The requirement of Faith

Sin

A divine plan

A Prophet or Savior

A Satan or "tempter" figure(s)

Deities that are defined by being good or evil

Confession

The need for a mediator between you and the divine

Magical Thinking

A Prosperity Gospel

The need to put deities before human beings

Godly surveillance

Gods that are omnipotent, omnibenevolent, and omniscient

Damnation

Taboos around magic

Rules about sex

A bad afterlife as the default

A need for you to earn your worth (it's inherent)

For some reason, all I can think of is “main character syndrome” but while the 2 may be related or overlap, I’m sure there’s a better word for it…

Also, the term ethnocentrism is a little iffy regarding universal (proselytising) religions like Islam and xtianity, but it’s still a really valid thing to consider because many, maybe most, religions are ethnoreligions (including Judaism), which means that the religion and culture are tied together. This is hard for culturally-xtian people to understand, because they see religion as separate, and if you stop participating in it, you’re not in it, and everyone else should be made to participate in it as well. With ethnoreligions, the culture and history is tied to the religious elements and these are not separate things. Even if someone is not religiously devout, when they are participating in that culture they are participating in things that are not separate from the religious development of their culture. The reason this is important is because when people who are really just anti-xtian go around screaming about “religion” and how “religion” is evil and must be stopped, what they’re advocating for is literally cultural genocide. And the fact that they get angry and refuse to change their understanding of what “religion” encompasses comes from what I would call ethnocentrism. It’s not just that different religions believe/expect different things, but the very concept/definition of religion itself is usually being seen through a culturally-xtian lens.

This is also obvious in the way many culturally-xtian anti-religious atheists talk about that. There are a lot of people out there who go around telling people that their way (anti-religious atheism) is the One True Way and that everyone must be brought around to their worldview. It’s even pretty common to see it couched as “saving” people from their backwards foreign cultures and oppression. A lot of extians have not actually done any work to undo (or even acknowledge) the xtian ideology that underpins their worldview. They have simply taken the concept of a deity out of the picture and kept the system of morality, the proselytism, the imperialism, the superiority complex, and the xtian-centrism.

Knowing that a potential season 3 of Good Omens is based off an idea for a sequel you had discussed with Terry, how much has that dictated the episode scripts for season 2? Did you feel overly constrained to ensure you could build that bridge to season 3 or was there enough leeway to run off into the weeds with story ideas? No specifics necessary, but for example did you HAVE to make sure to introduce & establish some new things or people that might pay off later which meant not pursuing a cool new idea in the moment?