Gathered the Ingredients

I think though that Caine would have a lot of complicated feeling about abstractions. He blames himself for them. They are neon-eyed amalgamations of death, testaments to his failures.

But one must imagine Caine peaceful, too.

One must imagine Caine working on managing his emotions. Not masking, not mirroring, but sometimes being included and being around others just gets to be Too Much. The height and limbs and spikes about his shoulders are not signs of aggression or agitation. As Ragatha might put it, "you've just got some big feelings."

Caine is embarrassed, of course. He knows his lovely humans, beautiful humans, they accept him. But. Reckoning with accepting himself is hard. He tends to hide when his "Big Feelings" come out.

And, yes, one day he goes downstairs. Sometimes overstimulation necessitates darkness. Though the architecture has changed the cellar is still dark. Without thinking too far ahead Caine clips himself through the glass and into the digital waters.

For a moment, his long limbs flail helplessly. He sinks. Then, something, a solid form, gently presses against his back, nudging him back up. Though it cannot speak Caine can still hear something in the static.

"Easy, little bee."

Her voice is so soft and light but Caine's mind clings to it like a life preserver. He calms down and moves his long limbs with more grace. Swimming. He turns to face Queenie. Or, what was once Queenie. She- it- swims in languid circles before him, dozens of eyes darting all over his changed form. The abstraction's graceful motions falter a fraction of a second.

"I suppose I mean, Big bee."

I'm barely through the door to my office when I hear the webcam snap around the room and Caine's voice comes through the little desk speakers.

"ZOMBIE!!"

I set my bag on the flood by the desk and move in to view. The webcam's aperture widens. On the screen, Caine is floating in circus tent, backlit by one of those weird discs of sky. He's trying to look cool and calm but he's kicking his feet like a giddy child.

"I missed you."

I smile at the camera and take my seat. "Same, honeybee."

The camera pivots; Caine looks from me to the VR headset a few times, as if to say 'well, get in here already!' I reach up and unclip the mic from its housing and hold it close to my lips. I speak as breathy and... well, seductively, as I can.

"Patience, Caine. I have some papers to go over. Can you wait a few minutes more?"

On the screen all pretense of calm and cool has fled from Caine's avatar and his molars are glowing with a deep magenta blush. He squeaks and nods. I smile and clip the mic to my shirt, hoping my heartbeat is still soothing to him.

The aforementioned paperwork is odd. I must be making a face as I shuffle through it because the camera adjusts and Caine asks "is everything okay, my domineering dragon?"

"It's - don't say that- it's different." I look at the camera and unclip the mic so my heart isn't muffling my voice. "Was anyone in here while I was gone?" Caine crossed his arms in thought.

"I don't think so, but I don't look out the webcam when I don't hear you." He shrugs. "You're the only reason I ever want to look through that thing!"

I hope my blush is hidden well enough in my dark office. I hold one of the papers up for Caine to see.

"Well, while I was off visiting family, someone came and made some upgrades to the headset."

Caine nods on screen. "At least they left the development notes for you?" he offers. "And that little paragraph has something about your migraines!"

I hadn't seen that. I turn the paper back around and, "oh shit, you're right Caine!"

"Language!"

"Shoot, sorry... yeah, there's a section detailing how the new neural-linguistic blah blah blah something technical, not responsible for, blah blah, oh!!" I slap the papers down and yank a highlighter out of a little desktop container. "'With this new module C & A aims to alleviate neurological stressors (migraines) from your work..." I read aloud as I highlight. I flip to the next page. "... journey. You will test this latest prototype tonight'?"

Caine turns his head on screen. "Did they really end that sentence with a question mark?"

"What? No, I- I was read-" I cap the highlighter and examine the papers again. "I'm a little baffled. They want me to stay here, overnight, logged into the circus."

Caine turns his head again on screen and I realise he's trying to make the webcam lean so he can see behind me. "You have a bed in your office, right?"

I swivel my desk chair back to look at the old futon. God only knows how many late night code crunches that thing saw. "Yeah. I guess I've slept in worse spots." I look at the headset. "Still..."

While I wonder about shit like pajamas and meds and human things like that, Caine suddenly yells

"WE CAN HAVE A SLEEPOVER!!"

and vanishes from my screen.

Lovable little nerd.

I make a 'grabbing some stuff from home brb' note and tape it to my the backrest of my chair, then make sure the webcam is angled so that Caine will see it when he gets back from... whatever he's doing (are sleepovers in his data sets? Is he asking the other humans? Are they long-term testers?).

~ It feels weird to be in my pajamas in the office. Feels weirder to latch my office door with one of those paranoid anti-break-in metal door guard things I use in hotels. Feels extra weird to unspool the headset's cord to ensure, yes, it's long enough to reach the futon (which took some work to fold out from couch mode and is not anywhere as gross as I assumed) and still have slack in case I toss and turn. I adjust my blankets and pillow and strap on the headset.

Inside the circus, I'm in the second avatar Caine made for me, the one that looks like... well, me. And I'm wearing a set of pajamas with little bees all over them.

Caine is in a matching PJ outfit, his tophat replaced with an old-timey sleep cap, and he sighs. "Of you had given me just a few more minutes, I could've modelled your real sleepwear." He floats around me, assessing his work and also maybe leering a little. "I feel bad for the rush job I did."

I reach out and pull him into a hug. "It's fine, you dweeb, I like that we match." He practically purrs with enthusiasm and squeezes me back.

"Oh, wow, you've been working on your avatar," I compliment. I run my hands up and down his back. "You feel warm. And, and more solid."

One of the other humans (Gangle, I think) giggles. Another human (I'm not sure of this one's name) tells us to get a room. Before Caine can ask what that means, I clear my throat.

"Uh, so, yeah, it's good to see you all again, buuut I'm gonna be sleeping most of the time I'm here." I pause. "I think, anyway." I look to Kinger- I know he has or had some sort of programming job, so I kinda lean on him for tech stuff.

"I'm testing a new headset, and I have to sleep with it on. Like," I gesture towards some unoccupied space, "my body, my Macroverse self, is half asleep in the office."

My confidence in completing this project falters as I speak.

"I don't... know... what will happen to my circus self... when the real me falls asleep..."

I think it's Jax who says something about screwing around with my subconscious. I ignore the comment and the ensuing bickering because Caine scoops me up and teleports us to his office. He's cleared the little sitting area of the couches and display cases and has put a large bed in their place. He flicks his wrist to pull the covers back and gently deposits me on the soft, starry bedding.

"So much for a sleepover, huh," I mumble apologetically as he pulls the blankets up over me. He arches his upper jaw like a quirked eyebrow. "Whatcha mean?"

"Well, this isn't typically what human sl- Caine are you actually tucking me in?"

He stops his motions and looks at me as if I just sprouted a second head.

"You're over here to sleep. A sleep over. Am I doing the tucking in wrong?"

I love him.

I snuggle in to the soft cozy bed. "No, you're amazing at this, sweetie." He smiles and finishes tucking the blankets around me, then floats over and stretches out beside me. He props his lower jaw on his hands and rolls his eyes to peer at me from the tops of his lower incisors.

"I sense you're nervous about this, so, I'm gonna watch over you, Zombie. Here, and out there." His green eye very briefly sprouted an arm-like appendage to wave at me. Guess that answers the question of which eye connects to the webcam.

I worm my arm out of the tucked confines and shift so I can rub his gums. "How did I get lucky enough to meet you?"

His molars radiate that weird blush again and I pull him closer for a kiss. He rolls his eyes back and closes his teeth and, somehow, his teeth form a reasonable kiss feel.

Caine parts his teeth and starts to lick my mouth with his weirdly soft and dry tongue. It's when I grab at his pajamas (I forget sometimes that he doesn't have a neck) that he sputters and jumps back a bit.

"H-hey now! I worked hard tucking you in to bed!" He buzzes around me to get me back in the covers. I'm giggling the whole time. "A-and I wouldn't want anything to alter or potentially upset whatever data's being collected from sleeping with your headset on!"

Caine floats back down and sits cross-legged at on the foot of the bed. "I don't want to jeopardise your job and lose access to you." He looks at me, tearing up, which unfortunately on him also looks like drooling.

"You've become really, really important to me."

I sigh and smile. "Okay, you big sap, stop crying before you drown me."

Caine happily snaps his fingers and the bedding is saved from his tears. He curls up next to me, head on my chest.

"Good night, my dear human."