Egg

STOP CENSORING YOURSELF ON THIS WEBSITE. FUCK SHIT SEX MURDER ALCOHOL DRUGS FAGGOT DYKE QUEER TRANS BITCH SLUT WHORE SEX SEX SEX SEX!!!!!!!!!!!

OK OK. UH UHHHH..... KILL?

mice are having sex in my walls :(

never thought i'd get accused of faking having a mice infestation for tumblr clout and yet here we are

you fucked those mice yourself

I fucked those mice myself

Who wants to see my cat totally brave and not at all scared at the vet

Give me a V!

V!

Give me an O!

O!

Give me an R!

i don’t think i like where this post is going

did it hurt? when the little people inside your head refused to follow your carefully-plotted novel outline?

any vampires who need permission 2 enter my house…..  u have my permission….  u wanna come through my window in a flurry of fog & wind?  u can do that…..  wanna drink my blood & take me away to ur big vampire castle?  alright friend, go for it

This is what happens to characters when you write an AU fanfic

Off goes Riker, to the coffee shop.

Some girl in my class was talking about McDonald’s shamrock shakes and this yeehaw dude in cowboy boots said they suck and then he looked me in the eyes and said “what you’re gonna do is go to Arby’s, and get yourself a mint chocolate chip shake.” And he said it with such authority and certainty that I did so as soon as I got in my car

I see your concern y’all but this wasn’t a man telling me what to do. This is a man who had important knowledge and shared it with me. He was aiding me on a quest I didn’t even know I was on.

You fool, that was Arby himself.