only posting

Omg the sweetest girl in the whole world sent me a friend request a bit too early into the relationship. Denied. Going on my list of sickening desperate fools.

first thing id do as a skeleton is drink red wine from a goblet and have it spill out everywhere . second thing id do is play my ribs like a xylophone

when i was born they rushed all the nurses into the room. called the whole hospital. Here’s the baby that doesn’t cry they said

we love to applaud performative masculinity

I was a stoic

Okay, but a lot of books would be that long if you laid the pages out

the average printed page is 6 inches wide. so if a book is 128 pages, its 64 ft long. I dont think I own a book with fewer than 128 pages.

It's honestly not that impressive at all. Fuck Imhotep and his pathetic short book.

there's a common belief that artists know how to make art. this is untrue. i've yet to meet a single artist who has any idea what they're doing

Betrayed and backstabbed by your scheming evil advisor? Psch. Skill issue. Absolute amateur problem. Just hire two of them and reward them for snitching on each other. Just make sure that neither of them is gay or they'll just end up hate-fucking each other and fucking you over all the same.

"hire two evil advisors but make sure neither of them is gay" are you hearing yourself right now. be serious

Two dudes in my group chat have been playing league & slowly but surely have shifted from saying "wanna play league of legends" to "wanna play some geego legends". At this point their average post is just @ing the other and going "geegogagand?" and I feel insane

Guys what if there was a character

This is one of the best posts I’ve ever made. It’s just people talking about wanting rain. Or who have too much rain and want other to have their rain.

taking a break from my mental health to focus on watching a tv show

nobody UNDERSTANDS this post!! this is NOT about feeling BAD and watching your COMFORT show!!! this is about feeling FINE but then CHOOSING to watch a show that makes you want to KILL YOUR SELF

sleep is stolen time. don't let them take it from you anymore. tonight. we are staying up. til one billion o clock.

snakes really make you appreciate how gross mammals really are. squamates are very dry and clean

a bird is a kind of reptile that has learned to be yucky.