Pillow Lord

i have a false tooth filled with a placebo in case i'm ever captured and need to be a control subject

*trying to pitch public transportation to Americans* it’s like a legal form of texting while driving

sometimes being a hater will make you feel like you're an intellectual and probably a secret genius because of how much other people around you are visibly not being a hater about the exact same things. maybe even later your haterism becomes justified and the tide of culture and conception shifts and you think see? see? I continuously outscale my peers in the brains department. but you have to understand that being a hater is often a deliriant. it makes you feel smart on occasion in the same way huffing glue may make you think you're god. there's a fine balance here we must all take into account

chronic pain diagnoses are all like yeah we don't know what this is or why it happens. we also don't know how to treat it. good luck out there soldier

clap if you're a black hole of a person and have never been satisfied

one of the funnier incidents of me assuming someone knew a meme irl was when a new coworker was talking about some woman who got arrested for tax fraud and I went "God forbid women do anything" and he got scared and thought I was accusing him of being sexist, so he started apologizing and saying how tax fraud isn't even bad, actually.

shine normal like a plain rock

if theres one thing that really pissed me off from my 3 years of architecture i took in high school it's learning about how we used to have all these little techniques to maximize or minimize heat or warmth and now we just merrily abandoned all those to have the same copypaste style buildings everywhere that are often INCREDIBLY unoptimized to the local weather and climate so we can just throw more money at our heating and cooling bills

where i live it is hot as balls approximately 80% of the year. i do not want a massive butt-ugly grey mcmansion with a huge echoey open-concept kitchen-livingroom-foyer-diningroom-staircase that has huge windows so i can have an hvac unit the size of a barge heaving and straining to keep it at a constant 72 the grees. i want a north indian traditional style home with small windows to force the airflow to cool, decorative grates to limit the amount of sunlight, and a COURTYARD with a POND *smashes unspecified large object*

I hate learning about instances of "oh yeah we know how to do that, we just don't".

I will create the world's first ontologically evil baseball team

Yankees beat you to it by like 113 years

am i allowed to say kill all trillionaires or is that too specific of a threat

new enemy i came up with called the "false mimic" this is just some guy that hides in chests and bobs the lid up and down like a mimic breathing. he has 1 hp and if you smack the chest he starts begging for his life snot and tears running down his face

dont piss me off. next time you go on a trip im filling your house with galapagos finches. by the time you return, they've evolved to fill your niche. they're a better spouse to your partner. they're a better parent for your child. and? they're a better friend to me than you ever were.

you can make friends online and you will be rewarded with pictures of their cats

*turns my attention inwards* mmmmm. no *turns my attention back outwards* oh god

how to escape the terrible fatigue guide

escape the terrible fatigue walkthrough no commentary

Not enough people talking about how well broccoli holds a sauce