Can You Stake My Heart?

there's many types of gnomes and while some will relish in your company with joyous abandon there are just as many that would light a fuse that led to a powder bomb they stealthily snuck into your back pocket

when hoffman showed up this guy on the other side of the theater screamed "HOFFMAN!" like he just won the lottery and like. girl same

First base is violence second base is convoluted codependence third base is applying pressure to the vulnerable parts of their body to keep their entrails from spilling out

sadly walking out of the doctor's office holding a piece of paper that says "fat pussy" in letters so big everyone in the waiting room can read it

sometimes all it takes is one cool breeze and i'm like. wow.. i'm going to live the fullest life everything is so great and i am so grateful and alive

Customer: BEAT OFF DMV: OFF (2008) IS BELOVED INDIE VIDEO GAME BY MORTIS GHOST Verdict: ACCEPTED

if you leave out soft bread, it gets hard, but if you leave out hard bread (crackers, etc), it gets soft. and you're telling me we can understand anything in this world

please be nice to me, i'm in my twenties. do you know what that does to a person

I wish judas was a girl so I could defend his actions