munchkin

Munchkin knew she had to work out. She knew that it was the first step to feeling like herself again.

She just didn't know where to start.

The overachiever in her felt like she had to run a half marathon or go to the olympics for her debut, and that was exactly why, since the team got back from their last mission she had been laying in bed, watching tv, and not really taking care of herself. To an outsider, this was silly, munchkin had finished the last mission with flying colors, and prior to it she was really doing well, she was taking care of herself, journaling, letting herself feel, going outside, eating foods that nourished her, and she had even begun to grow her nails after months of biting. And then the post-mission fatigue hit. This was normal, most avengers experienced it one way or another, they stayed in their rooms and hibernated for a few days before returning back to normal. She never judged the rest of the avengers for this, but she judged herself. And since she had been "off" for longer than she expected (given that she busted her butt on the mission, this was normal) she felt like it was "no use" getting back to her good habits since it wouldn't be "perfect."

Munchkin had a complicated relationship with food and exercise, the kind of relationship that takes daily effort for her to treat herself kindly, and mostly, she did so well, it had been a while since her body image issues flared up, and when they did, she handled it with grace, feeling her feelings before punishing herself for no reason. She enjoyed exercise for fun, and focused more on what her body could do instead of how her body looked. Steve and Bucky knew this, and they were always so proud of their little girl for choosing her well-being despite it often being the hard choice for her. They were the most supportive carers and she felt so safe with them. And that was why they knew that it was time to get their baby moving, just a little, because they knew that when she stayed still for too long, her head got the best of her, it was the little push she needed to get back into feeling good, the only problem was, since she was at a low point, she had been little, for a while now, and that had helped her stay afloat, but they had never had this situation on their hands before.

After talking it out, they decided on making the workout session fun for her, munchkin was the kind of little who loved structure, so they needed to have a plan. Steve was going to handle the training first thing in the morning, Bucky was going to handle the self-care afterwards. The night before was when the plan started.

As munchkin did her skincare, Steve went for it. "You know princess, Daddy has a very special game planned for you and him tomorrow morning, so we need to pick out your outfit" he knew his girl, and she couldn't say no if a cute outfit was involved "What kind of game Daddy?" he knew she'd ask that, but he had to build the excitement up "that's a surprise bug, but we can choose your favorite moving outfit for it" he saw her eyes light up, when she finished her skincare she sprinted to her drawers, and there it was, in all its glory, her pink matching workout set, she got it out, along with her forgotten (pink) trainers, steve caught up with her, and when she was all ready, he picked her up and took her to the bed, where bucky was already in, she snuggled her beloved carers and fell into an excited slumber.

When the alarm rang, she nudged Steve awake "Daddy, daddy, it's time let's go playyyyy", the super soldier snuggled with his little for a bit more, bid a sleeping Bucky farewell (he got a kiss on the cheek from Munchkin!) and went to make breakfast while a very excited (and particularly independent) munchkin got dressed, put her hair in pigtails, they had some fruit with granola, and off they went.

If there was something Munchkin loved was music, every avenger knew this, she'd always be humming or singing a song, never left home without her headphones and yearned for long car rides so she could just sit and listen to music. Steve knew this, and the night before (with some help from Tony) he had crafted the perfect playlist, full of Disney musical songs (Munchkin loved musicals, big or small, when she was small, Disney took over) in a specific order, he had also gotten his and her headphones synced to the same phone, so they would listen together.

It was so early that the streets were practically deserted, they did some warm-up stretches (or as Steve told his little one, fun dance moves!) and walked together to the park, Steve made sure she held his hand when crossing the street!

"Now dove, the game rules are as follows" he handed her her headphones, "we will run for one song, then walk for the next one, got it?" she nodded "and your challenge is to find one thing for each color of the rainbow on the way, and after we finish you tell me what you find" she started squirming of excitement "we're only gonna run around the park, and Daddy will run right behind you, if you start feeling sick, you let me know, the idea is to have fun, you win if you have fun, so take it easy, got it?" "Yes daddyyyy can we go now????" Munchkin said, jumping up and down, ready to go, Steve started the playlist and off they went.

Munchkin was a bit tired during the first song, so she was glad when the walking song came on, she spotted some pink flowers, which made her really happy, and as the game went on, she slowly but surely got into a rhytm and started feeling that runner's joy she almost forgot existed, when the playlist came to an end, Steve picked her up and praised her "You did so well my angel, how do you feel?" "I feel so awake Daddy! So happy! I want to jump and do things and play!"

They did some cool down stretches and walked home, she told him all about the things she saw, her favorite songs, and as Steve held her hand and walked with her he was so happy to see his little sunshine was back.

An Unfinished Battle

It had been two weeks since that conversation.

Two weeks of you keeping him at arm’s length, of acting like his words hadn’t meant anything.

He was used to people needing time. He wasn’t used to feeling this helpless.

But it was still there—the weight of your words, the way you had looked at him, like he was offering something you weren’t sure you could accept.

Like maybe, just maybe, a part of you wanted to.

And that was enough to keep him from walking away.

The Breaking Point

It happened on a mission.

SHIELD had intel on a facility experimenting on enhanced individuals, and you were on the team sent to shut it down.

Things went south—fast.

You had always fought like you had nothing to lose, but today, it was different. Reckless. Almost like you didn’t care if you made it out.

Steve saw it.

And it terrified him.

So when the dust settled, when the mission was over and the team was safe, Steve didn’t waste a second.

“What the hell was that?” His voice was sharp, cutting through the quiet of the debriefing room where you were peeling off your gloves like nothing had happened.

You barely spared him a glance. “The mission’s done, Rogers. Relax.”

His jaw tightened. “That’s not what I’m talking about, and you know it.”

You sighed, tossing your gloves onto the table before finally meeting his eyes. “I did what I had to do.”

“No,” he snapped. “You did what you always do. You acted like your life doesn’t matter.”

Something flickered in your expression—something brief, but Steve caught it before you shut it down.

He took a step closer. “You think no one notices, but I do. I see you.”

“Steve—”

“I see the way you put yourself in the line of fire like it doesn’t matter if you make it out. I see the way you look at yourself, like you’re already gone.” His voice softened, but there was no less urgency in it. “I can’t stand watching you do this to yourself.”

You clenched your jaw, looking away. “I don’t need a savior, Steve.”

He exhaled sharply. “Maybe not. But you sure as hell need someone who gives a damn.”

Silence.

Then, after a moment—

“That’s the problem, isn’t it?” Your voice was quiet. Cold. “You do care. And you shouldn’t.”

Steve took a step closer. “Why not?”

You finally met his eyes again, and this time, he could see it. The exhaustion. The frustration. The fear, buried so deep you probably didn’t even know it was there.

“Because if you knew the kind of person I really am, you wouldn’t.”

His expression didn’t waver.

“Try me.”

The words hung between you like a challenge.

But you just shook your head, a humorless smile curving your lips.

“You really are too good for this world, Rogers.”

He wasn’t sure when it started, this need for you. Maybe it was the first time he saw you in the middle of a fight, eyes burning with a rage that didn’t come from malice, but from something worse. Something that looked too much like self-destruction.

Maybe it was the first time you saved him without thinking—standing between him and a bullet like your life didn’t matter as much as his.

Maybe it was the way you never saw yourself as good, no matter how many times you chose to be.

And Steve couldn’t stand it.

Couldn’t stand the way you looked at yourself like you were something tainted, something wrong.

“You’re not the villain you think you are,” he told you once.

You had just stared at him. And then you laughed, sharp and bitter. “You don’t know me, Rogers.”

But he did.

He knew the way your hands shook when you thought no one was looking. He knew the way your eyes softened in the rare moments you let your guard down. He knew how much it hurt you when people assumed the worst, and how you let them—because it was easier than trying to be something you weren’t sure you could be.

And still, you pushed him away.

Still, you refused to see what he saw.

One night, after a mission that went too wrong too fast, Steve found you sitting alone, staring at your hands like they weren’t yours. Blood stained your knuckles—not your own.

You had saved lives today. But all you could see was the wreckage.

“Let me help you,” he said softly, sitting beside you.

You didn’t look at him. “There’s nothing to help, Steve.”

He exhaled, running a hand through his hair. “Why do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Act like you’re past saving.”

That made you laugh. “Because I am.”

Steve turned to face you, and this time, he didn’t let you look away. “No. You’re not.”

You sighed, shaking your head. “You don’t get it. You never will. You’re good, Steve. You always have been. You don’t know what it’s like to make the choices I have. To live with them.”

His jaw clenched. “That’s not true.”

You scoffed. “Oh, come on, Rogers. You think you love me? You don’t even know me. You love some idea of me that doesn’t exist.”

That hurt. But Steve didn’t flinch.

“I love you,” he said, voice steady. “Not some idea of you. You.”

You finally looked at him then, eyes searching his like you wanted to believe him, like you almost did.

But then you pulled back.

“You shouldn’t.”

Steve clenched his fists. “And why not?”

“Because people like me don’t get to have people like you.”

His heart ached. Because even now, you still thought you weren’t worthy.

But he wasn’t giving up on you.