I'd rather dash myself upon the rocks

when i was at walgreens (at 3 in the morning which explains all of this) the cashier was talking to her coworker about how shed rather be a werewolf than a vampire because vampires are condemned to hell but werewolves arent and then she asked me what i thought and i said vampire because im already condemned to hell and she said in the nicest tone of voice “i dont think anybody is condemned to hell….” paused, stared at me for a few moments, and added on “…not even gay people” 

Happy pride month to the filthiest most brutal read I’ve ever been given in my life

I was mugged by snow white and the seven dwarves the other day. six dwarves now, I suppose. kneed dipshit or dopey or whatever he was called in the eye socket so hard he died before his limp body hit the ground. they all scattered after that. I'll never forget how they wailed his name

i just think if youre usamerican and within an online fan community for something thats also predominantly liked by usamericans You should be nicer and more open minded to fans that arent from the us and maybe dont treat them like some sort of strange fucking creatures. you might get more fans to talk to and befriend if you dont act like the us is the default for everyone in existence. this applies to everything ever when it comes to interacting with others online but im talking about fandom bullshit currently so keep that in mind

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

Aliens bodies are probably different as hell. Or similar

cousins and coworkers are addicted to getting pregnant